Congratulations to 3L Michael Riordan on his marriage to Jessy Ellington.

Thumbs down to the graduation application that 3Ls need to fill out in order to be on the commencement list. Keep giving ANG reasons not to graduate. ANG dares you.

Thumbs down to the 1Ls who are being driven insane by the combination of midterms and the major memo. An ungraded midterm and a pass/fail legal research memo. Way to have grace under fake pressure. Exams should be fun.

Thumbs up to the incredibly warm weather. ANG doesn’t know if it is caused by global warming or El Niño. All ANG knows is that it is still hot pants weather and that ANG still looks good.

Thumbs down to the BarBri and Kaplan people in the hallway. ANG didn’t need one more reason not to come to school, but your insanely annoying recruiting tactics have, thankfully, given ANG one.

But, thumbs up to the MicroMash bar study table. It takes balls to attempt to hang with the big boys. Balls with elastic strings attached that you can bounce around like a cat toy.

Thumbs up to flu shot season. After the Pacino’s incident, this is no longer the only shot ANG is scared of.

Speaking of, thumbs down to the increase in violent crime in or around areas where law students spend a great deal of their time. ANG didn’t realize that UVA was in New Haven.

Thumbs up to the moot court for using the world of Batman as the basis of its jurisdiction. Though you forget, there is no law in the world of Batman, only justice!!

Thumbs up to the bookstore for pointedly calling out ANG for publishing misinformation about Cherry Coke Zero. ANG hopes Cary Bennett doesn’t get any ideas.

C. Nelson: Okay, we’re at the end of the hour. I’m sorry that was such a mess. I blame the Supreme Court. Send your letters to them.

C. Sprigman: So, I’ve got a premise about why Helen Keller is the world’s worst driver…

C. Sprigman: You select a picture of some mincing figures and pair it with some horrible text, like “I wuv you.” Of course, you could have selected a lot of different text, like, “Please kill me.”

P. Stephan: The argument is that this is representative of a problem. The response is, “No, it’s not. Neener neener neener.”

G.E. White: It could be the case that a relative was intimately familiar with the legs of the decesased.

K. Kordana: You could offer me 3 gold coins. What does 3 gold coins mean? I don’t know; we’re not in Dungeons and Dragons.

Student: So you take a 16-year-old up to your hotel room after you buy condoms?
A. Coughlin: Well, you can do that if you want, but I’d like a fact pattern.

J. Fischman: Assume you are not principled.
Student: Not a problem.

A. Coughlin: And that’s why I’m sweating so badly. I hate this class. Not you, this section.

R. Bonnie: I don’t know what the going rate is to get somebody killed. Maybe in light of the economy it’s come down.

C. Nelson: How does the Supreme Court phrase this question in Walker?
Students: [Blank stares, then student’s phone rings]
C. Nelson: They might know.

A. Johnson: Unconscionable. That’s the term we lawyers use. Not “unfair.” Longer word, more money. Write that in your notes.

K. Abraham: Like I always say, if you step on a real slippery slope and don’t know it’s a slippery slope, you fall down. If you step on a conceptual slippery slope and don’t know it’s a slippery slope, then you just stay there.

A. Coughlin: Notice, you cannot raise an intoxication defense to D.U.I.

C. Barzun: There’s a strange, furry little animal and it rubs against you and gives you a rash, or maybe it squirts you and it smells really bad.

Student: I thought an argument could be made . . .
R. Bonnie: Oh yes, you could make it. But if I were the judge, I would reject it.

M. Dooley: You continue to give great answers that are nonresponsive to the question… you and Sarah Palin.