Thumbs up to Thanksgiving break. Outlining + Tryptophan = below the curve.
Thumbs down to extremely sick people who still come to school. Take the day off, Ripken. It’s in all our best interests.
Thumbs down to the suddenly cold weather. How can it be so cold, when it is so warm in ANG’s heart? What!? It is!!!!
Thumbs down to Derek Leach relinquishing authorship of the Final Exam Tech Tips email. The only thing keeping ANG from hurling ANG’s laptop through the window was a 3,000-word Star Wars-themed email. Now you not only have to fix ANG’s shattered computer, but also ANG’s shattered spirit.
Thumbs up to the massive increase in tabling going on in Hunton & Williams Hall this week. Right now there is a giving tree, a bake sale, a food drive, a sports and entertainment society sign up, and a jewelry sale for HRSP. Next week there is going to be a farmers market and a live cattle auction. It should be fun.
Thumbs up to the newly-formed Virginia Wine Society. ANG can’t emphasize enough how helpful this institution will be in curbing ANG’s addiction to Keystone Ice.
Thumbs up to the organization that was giving away Chipotle Burritos in Scott Commons in return for a donation to charity. Giving to charity makes ANG’s heart full. Eating Chipotle makes ANG’s heart explode.
Thumbs down to 1Ls who seem to never go out on Thursdays. Sure, you seem to be pretty in going out Tuesdays and Wednesdays . . . and Saturdays, and sometimes Mondays. But ANG needs a reason to rip on you, so here it is.
Thumbs up to the return of pirates. ANG read a real news article today about the sinking of a pirate “mothership.” What a sweet f’ing world we live in.
R. Hynes: Have I called on you before?
Student: No
R. Hynes: [Asks question]
Student: Actually I think you did call on me already.
A. Woolhandler: Maybe ugly people deserve verdicts in their favor.
R. Bonnie: Any questions?
Students: [Silence]
R. Bonnie: Whenever you don’t say anything it either means I’m doing a really great job or a really sh---y job. I hope it’s the former.
C. Nelson: You should not infer from this lesson that, as lawyers, you can get off scot-free as long as you lie to the court orally, but not on paper. That is not the lesson of Rule 11.
M. Collins: By the way, can anyone explain to me why the feds were involved in the search for Dr. Richard Kimble [in The Fugitive]?
Student: His wife was a postal employee.
K. Abraham: The amount of care defendant owes is some function of the amount of care—in general—that plaintiffs can be expected to take. If the baseball club decides to play some game during the 7th inning stretch with handheld rocket launchers, then plaintiffs probably can’t be expected to use that much care.
G. Geis: You know, it’s like the people who live near Wrigley Stadium and rent out their roofs for people to watch the Cubs play the World Series . . . oh wait. Well, in theory they could, anyway.
J. Fischman: There are a lot of March births because of June weddings; there’s a bit of a hump there.
B. Cushman: Asks a question.
Student: [Answers]
B. Cushman: No.
Student:[Answers again]
B. Cushman: No. What you want to tell me . . . and correct me if I’m wrong . . .
C. Nelson: This is just a succession of days where we expose my ignorance of civil procedure. Luckily, I have tenure.
R. Bonnie: [talking about insane defendant] I mean, I think she’s a plain, nice, simple . . . I don’t mean simple-minded. But, let’s face it: she wouldn’t be admitted to UVA Law School.
