Congratulations to 3Ls Joseph Fore and Courtney Miller on their engagement.

Congratulations to 2L Benjamin Grosz on his marriage to Emily Talley.

Thumbs up to Rock-a-PILA, the second annual Rock Band tournament. Finally, ANG can play Rock Band on a Friday night and still fit in. At least, ANG could if ANG didn’t favor David Bowie style glam-rock costumes.

Thumbs up to pumpkins! Because of them, once a year ANG gets to hold a knife without having to first notify ANG’s parole officer. Ah, freedom.

Thumbs down to UVA Law Blog author J Crew Model for his barely coherent “column” attacking Law Weekly columns as unfunny. ANG doesn’t need competition for poorly written, anonymous commentary about not liking things. Some advice from the Bible for a certain humor-stunted website: Before removing the speck from your brother’s eye, first check to see if you write for a really boring blog.

Thumbs down to the MPRE for sending 3Ls all the way to Johns Hopkins to take the professional responsibility test. Based on ANG’s experience with Baltimore (see: watching The Wire), traveling students should be careful not to get embroiled in any gang warfare over drug turf. They should definitely be on the lookout for Jimmy McNulty, however, since that guy seems like a lot of fun.

Thumbs down to the PILA Auction DJ earning PILA hours while drinking for free. So the hours do count for playing dance music while getting loaded, but the hours don’t count when ANG shows up to volunteer at the legal aid clinic just a tiny bit hammered? Make up your mind, PILA.

Thumbs up to the Macho Tournament this week, a one-day celebration of softball and not women.

M. Collins: I’ve occasionally taught this case, but always with very little payoff. I know what you’re thinking—how is that different from any other case in this class? Trust me, there is even less payoff.

B. Armacost: The case seems kind of de minimis—and stupid.

J.H. Verkerke: If you don’t remember hypothetical bargain, you’re a loser!

J. Jeffries: As you all can imagine, global warming is not a problem particular to Massachusetts.

M. Collins: How many of you are taking or have taken a course in civil rights litigation? Okay, this is that course in 55 minutes.

J. Jeffries: You know how [Chief Justice Rehnquist] is; never met a distinction he didn’t like.

P. Mahoney: When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. When you’re a judge, everything looks like a legal problem.

B. Armacost: Windows [in a car] are a big deal. People don’t change . . . actually, some people do change their clothes in a car.

J. Harrison: Remember the . . .

Student: Titans?

M. Collins: I’m glad all of you made it back from break. I’m not sure I did. I’m still in break mode, so I apologize for the mediocre class we’re about to have.

Student: You mean the corporation is about to be liquidated.

Geis: What did I say? Stock?

Student: No, you said the wife is about to be liquidated.

C. Sprigman: Before there was a housing bubble, there was a beanie baby bubble. For a while, it was intoxicating.

A.E. Howard: Two of our members were spotted camping by the bar at the reception earlier. They will not be called on tonight.

M. Collins: Does it matter that American Airlines served this guy alcohol? Maybe he’s just a groper. He gets a little ice cream in him and he gropes. He doesn’t alcohol.

B. Cushman: [reading from a case in which the decedent left money for a child’s education] “I wish him to be a lawyer. I wish him to go to Harvard.” This is where we begin to question the decedent’s capacity.

T. Nachbar: I was trying to figure out where the FCC came up with this idea of a 27 percent penetration rate by Googling “penetration rate.”

M. Collins: It’s a dated case, an old case, but it’s still good law. Well, good law in the sense that it’s still precedential.