Thumbs up to the Moot Court controversy. Things are getting so interesting that ANG actually attended the most recent round of oral arguments, even if it was just to chant “FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT” whenever one of the teams would say something.
Thumbs up to the grounds-wide student elections. It’s disappointing, however, that the law students are running unopposed, as usually at least one of them slips ANG a cash-stuffed envelope for a public endorsement here.
Thumbs down to the impact of unemployment on softball participation. Here’s some advice: It’s more satisfying to play softball and not get a job than to spend every waking moment gunning and not get a job.
Thumbs up to the Faculty Wine & Cheese Reception, but, Dean Ballinger, you’re supposed to drink the wine from a glass.
Thumbs up to Assassins starting again. For those unfamiliar, Assassins is a game where law students dress in funny costumes while attempting to “kill” any remaining popularity that they might have.
Thumbs up to 3L Carlton Gammons for winning the UVA intramural wrestling championship for the second year in a row. ANG wishes Gammons well in his future career as a litigator, known for his shrewd courtroom tactic of physically grabbing opponents/hostile witnesses/judges and pinning their knees to their necks until they concede the legal issue.
Thumbs up to the Jersey Shore party, but thumbs down to the out-of-control fog machine. With clouds of chemical gas filling every room, a more appropriate theme for the party would have been Jersey Turnpike.
Thumbs down to class agents being forced to collect money from 3Ls for initial pledges. One would think the Law School administration would be above imitating the business strategies of Amway.
A. Simmons: (handing student his coffee) Here, you’ll want this to get through the rest of the class.
K. Kordana: What happens if the monk doesn’t take a vow of silence? I guess he gets excommunicated and goes to Hell. That sounds extra-legal to me.
Z. Stauffer: Do any of the other law professors say ‘pimp’ in class? Okay, bawd, we’ll stick with bawd… but then I can’t use it as a verb: You can’t “bawd” someone else.
D. Brown: When young men get together and there is alcohol available, you get a lot of murders.
T. Nachbar: Those crazy states! They’re mischievous, like a bunch of little monkeys or something.
K. Kordana: Do I want to set up disincentives to hiring lawyers? Hmm . . . that’s not the side my bread is buttered on.
G. Yin: The gambler who rolls the dice and yells “Come to mama!” is valuable to the casino, because all the other patrons are watching and thinking, “I too have a momma!”
J. Verkerke [regarding a man whose work injury caused impotence]: We shouldn’t laugh, but really, how can we resist?
M. Riley: I hate to say this, but this is a great career, writing these labels for these horrible companies. And you’ll get over it.
K. Abraham: That would be a really good question if it were relevant.
D. Brown: Does that sound right? It’s perfectly okay to disagree with the teacher. You’d be wrong, but it’s still okay.
J. Harrison: Could I become a clockmaker? No, that requires work, so I’ll become a law professor instead.
Student: A dirty bomb only affects a few blocks.
S. Lawsky: Dirty-bomb expert, I’ll take your word for it.
S. Vaidhyanathan: What is that baldness drug I obviously didn’t take?
L. Kendrick: That’s probably enough offensive speech for the day.
T. Nachbar: Maybe they’re really good at making something else in New York, like . . . debt, for instance.
R. Harmon: Everyone who drives . . . dies.
L. Kendrick: This is like the “your momma” brand of jurisprudence.
S. Lawsky: I don’t have normative views about the tax code, but I do about this. This sucks.
K. Kordana: U.S. astronauts won’t be bringing the common law to Mars. It’s already there!
