Congratulations to first-year Elisabeth Falaleev on her engagement to Todd Miranowski!
Congratulations to first-year Craig Smith on his marriage to Gracie Green!
Congratulations to third-year Josh Kaplowitz and his wife Andrea on the birth of their daughter, Evelyn!
Thumbs up to the start of softball season. Crabcakes and softball, that’s what UVA Law does.
Thumbs up to school computer labs that have staples and staple removers, but no staplers. They are convenient for obtaining staples for use elsewhere and for removing staples from things brought from elsewhere, which is really all ANG wanted to do anyway.
Thumbs up to Flo, the Teeter sandwich lady. Her deli meat may be cold, but her smile is warm; her sandwiches may only fill ANG’s stomach, but her tender, loving care nourishes ANG’s soul.
Thumbs down to 1Ls who write excessively long LR&W memos—over twice the recommended length—that their Dillards and professors have to read. Brevity isn’t just the soul of wit; it’s also the soul of not being a giant pain in the ass.
Thumbs up to the return of bocce in Spies Garden. Now, when ANG lobs heavy objects at babies, ANG has an excuse.
Thumbs down to people who steal belongings out of students’ mailboxes. While ANG is unsure as to why ANG stores ANG’s One-A-Days in ANG’s mailbox, stealing the bottle is still a jackass thing to do.
Trains on time: Professor Hudson’s Trial Advocacy class has been getting out late repeatedly, and it’s supposed to end at 10 p.m..
Thumbs up to Daylight Savings Time starting early this year. ANG usually wakes up at 4 p.m., so ANG needs all the daylight ANG can get.
Thumbs down to 1Ls who wrote their name on journal tryouts. Somehow ANG doesn’t think you could have mastered the 1st Amendment if you couldn’t grasp the concept of blind grading.
Thunbs dwon to 75% of the Law Weekly staff for shoqwing up drunk to production this weejk. Whose going to proofreed the issue if everyones passed out??
J. Harrison: “You may have never lived in a place crass enough to have a dimmer switch. As a crude tool of seduction, it’s just one step removed from the Lava Lamp.”
G. Mitchell: [calls on a student’s mother sitting in on the class] “What was the basis for the objection?”
Mom: “Um, no comment.”
G. Mitchell: “You obviously don’t know the rules. If you could just be quiet on your way out, please.”
K. Abraham: “This point of law is very important to clients. In fact, it paid for a wing in my house.”
K. Forde-Mazrui: “I learned [that every 1L section has a female professor] when I tried to trade classes once and they told me that I couldn’t. I said ‘But my name’s Kim! I’ve got a hyphenated last name! Everybody just assumes...’”
G. Mitchell: “This is for those of you who are going to be parents... that is, if you can find someone to have sex with you.”
D. Leslie: “If I were a judge, I would like to be reversed about a third of the time. That means I’m innovative…If I were never reversed, it would be like I wasn’t even there.”
J. Setear: [pointing to student with hand raised] Yes?
Student: I have a question.
J. Setear: Didn’t you read my faculty quote in the Law Weekly? If you raise your hand, I’m going to assume you have a question.
