Thumbs down to the quasi-mandatory meeting for 3Ls on Monday about the Bar exam. ANG didn’t need to sit down for an hour to be told that ANG will fail the Character & Fitness evaluation. ANG’s Sing Sing tattoo tells ANG that every day.
Thumbs up to Fall Break. You gave ANG three days. ANG took a month. What of it, punk?!
Thumbs up to the 3L who made AboveTheLaw this week for his or her “catty” email to his or her firm this summer. For the first time in years, a UVA Law student made AboveTheLaw for a non-alcohol-related incident. Dean Jeffries is smiling inside.
On a related note, thumbs down to Skadden kids who won’t stop talking about their daytrip to Keswick. Get a cleansing mud facial now—in one year a partner is going to hold your head under that same mud for as long as it takes you to stop struggling.
Thumbs down to the 1L section that manipulated league softball rules to intentionally walk a guy to get to a girl. Not only are you poor sports, you are the worst kind of poor sports: the sexist kind.
Thumbs down to students who took cell phone chargers from the donation box for BLSA and VLW’s joint “Donate Your Cell Phone Campaign” to benefit the Shelter for Help in Emergency during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Hopefully your cell phone is well-enough charged to call 911 when ANG hits you with ANG’s car.
Thumbs up to Prof. Collins for showing up five minutes late to Fed Courts but still ending class on time. ANG, obviously, is not taking Fed Courts. ANG is only happy about this because it probably infuriated everyone in there.
Trains on time: Prof. Kraus has been showing up five minutes late to his Contracts class and keeping the class at least five minutes late.
M. Collins: “1441(c) is like the sun. It is nice to know it is there, but you don’t want to stare at it too long.”
R. Hynes: “How can you help your client get her money?”
Student: “Do you want the legal argument?”
R. Hynes: “Well, we aren’t calling in the mob.”
K. Abrams: “With bestiality you also have a consent problem, right? Because of the communication barrier. I mean, unless you’re the Horse Whisperer or something.”
R. Harmon: “Have I told you guys that I’ve been ticketed for jaywalking? What kind of lawyer can’t argue their way out of a jaywalking ticket?”
J. Gibson: “The copyright duration laws for older works are very complicated. I address that by not teaching them.”
R. Hynes: “What was the plaintiff arrested for?”
Student: “Homosexual activity.”
R. Hynes: “And what did he do?”
Student: “Uh…?”
R. Hynes: “Oh, no—I mean, what was his occupation!”
J Gibson: “Who wrote the Ghostbusters song?”
Student [immediately]: “Ray Parker, Jr.!”
J. Gibson: “Nice… I didn’t think anyone would have the cojones to shout that out.”
M. Klarman: “The Supreme Court told the Virginia Court of Appeals to enter judgment for Martin. The Virginia court told them to go to hell. Well… they didn’t really tell them to go to hell. They gave them the finger. OK… they didn’t really give them the finger.”
M. Robinson: “I’m a prostitute. I make $100,000 a year. So… I’m a high-priced prostitute.”
D. Leslie: “Who won the first few Superbowls?!? The NFL won them year after year!”
Student: “No, they split two-and-two. The Packers won the first two and then—”
D. Leslie: “Yeah! They won them year… after… year!”
M. Dooley: “Sorry I’m late. Sometimes it’s just not worth getting up in the morning.”
