Congratulations to 1L Jeremy Weinsier on his engagement to Amanda Saxman!
Congratulations to James Nelson and the rest of the newly elected 2008–2009 Managing Board of Virginia Law Review!
Congratulations to 2Ls Klinton Miyao and Chris Langbein on being selected as the new Co-Directors of the Peer Advisor program!
Thumbs up to professors who offer creative ways, such as donating blood, to get out of cold calls. ANG tried to give blood but was immediately confronted with the 278 STD jokes ANG had made in the past month. Who knew they were fans?
Thumbs down to students who eat malodorous foods in class. As delicious as your grilled limburger looks, it smells like donkey ass. Eat it in the hallway.
Thumbs down to students who print out book-length documents in the computer lab right before class starts. You are the law school equivalent of the old lady who takes a shopping cart full of produce to the self-checkout machines at Teeter.
Thumbs down to 1Ls who complain about their LR&W brief constantly and in public. Only people on Maury Povich are allowed to complain that much about pass/fail tests.
Thumbs up to the thermometers hitting almost 80 degrees on February 18. If this keeps up, ANG is going to miss more school in February because of beautiful days than hangovers. Ironic that warm weather in Charlottesville means that hell has frozen over.
Thumbs down to the second round of the plague going around the Law School. Like most sequels, this one is worse than the first. Unlike most sequels, this one afflicted ANG with a vicious, hacking cough and uncontrollable nausea. However, Cruel Intentions II also did that.
Thumbs up to professors who cancel Presidents Day classes, even though the official policy of the school is not to give us a day off. You and ANG are kindred spirits. No offense.
Thumbs down to Law Review for scheduling the latest cite check to be due on the Monday of Spring Break. Guys, working through Spring Break is not going to get you into Harvard. Just let the dream die.
Thumbs down to the super-cool guys who walked off with a few handles of liquor and a full keg of beer from the porch of last Tuesday’s Feb Club party. As much as it hurts ANG to admit it, we are not in college anymore, and Feb Club is not the same as pledge term. So stop stealing, you self-entitled little twits.
Thumbs up to the UVA facilities employees who helped a student fix a flat in the D3 lot on Wednesday. ANG has also relied many a time on the kindness of strangers—strangers whose outlines ANG gets ANG’s hands on!
Thumbs up to Professor Hynes for bringing donuts to his Secured Transactions class for Valentine’s Day. Nothing screams loneliness like shoving donuts into your mouth while listening to an hour and a half lecture on commercial paper.
Thumbs down to people who leave the stall door open while they are “doing their business” in the second-floor bathroom of the library. ANG doesn’t even do this at ANG’s house, and ANG’s house is a cardboard box in the middle of a landfill.
Thumbs down to professors who decide that it is OK to speak loudly and whistle while walking through the library. While it isn’t pooping with the door open, it’s still annoying. Get your act together, faculty!
T. Nachbar: “There are candy bars made in Virginia. But there are also candy bars made out of state—by those bastards at Hershey.”
Student: “Why does the dean get his own parking space?”
D. Leslie: “Well, we’re getting rid of him anyway. And isn’t that the reason why? That Jeffries... Always reaching for more.”
Student: “It seems to me to be a real load of crap that the testator—”
M. Collins: “A what?”
Student: “I said A LOAD OF CRAP.”
M. Klarman: “One of the best things about writing a book is that you get to make up new terms. [Pointing to “subconstitutional rules” on the chalkboard] Couldn’t get that one by a law review.”
Student: “Groh’s salary is something like $1.5 million.”
D. Leslie: “No kidding? That’s an outrage! I couldn’t say that in Sports Law because his son was sitting right over there, but that’s an outrage!”
C. Sprigman: “Methadone users aren’t a class like Viagara users. Viagra is like every guy over 27... I’m 25.”
T. Jacobi: [changing slides as students furiously scribble] “You don’t have to write that down. It’s just the Constitution.”
D. Leslie: “Do you think I’m famous?”
Student: “No.”
D. Leslie: “Awww… Care to try another answer?”
Student: “Yes.”
D.Leslie: “Awww.”
M. Collins: “It’s beautiful outside. I have to be here, but I don’t know what brings any of you here.”
