A. Johnson: Seventy percent of you who are married now, in law school, will be divorced in five years. But don’t worry . . . I was married in law school, and I’m married now. Of course, it’s to a different woman, but that’s besides the point.

A. Coughlin: There’s a man-purse now. I don’t know what they keep in them.

J. Mahoney: Ah, yes, a Justice Holmes case. And here you see Justice Holmes being cryptic, even by the standards of Justice Holmes.

R. Verkerke: Selling drugs out of your locker? Just fine, but if you take them, you may have trouble getting a job. I didn’t mean that. You shouldn’t sell drugs out of your locker. That’s bad.

A. Johnson: What’s your first name?

Student: It’s Timothy on my birth certificate.

A. Johnson: I don’t like that. Let’s say your first name is Alex.

C. Barzun: He was going to pick up a pound of marijuana for free, which is a good deal. I’ve never bought a pound of marijuana but “free” sounds like a good price.

J. Harrison: Career-ending injuries are not that common for law professors. Especially if you’ve got tenure. You could have massive brain damage, and no one would notice.

M. Doran: There is a provision [in the tax code] allowing a charitable deduction for money given to whaling captains engaged in sustainable bowhead whale hunting. This is supposed to encourage charitable activity, though maybe the whales see it differently.