Around North Grounds 2/8/17

Thumbs down to the upcoming Journal tryout session. Just a word to the wise: attempting to bribe the Law Review member in charge of journal tryouts will not help you get on a journal. In retrospect, perhaps the lesson is, “Don’t bribe people by offering to perform voodoo on their enemies.”

Thumbs up to Barrister’s Ball not being so close to Valentine’s Day this year. Now ANG can celebrate by being kicked out of Rapture at 1AM for stealing assorted glassware twice in the same week.

Thumbs down to Trump’s reading comprehension. ANG has This Weird Trick That Will Put Bernie in the White House: write the order, put it on the Resolute Desk, and scrawl “—XOXO, Steve” on a Post-It. #riggedelection #sanderscanstillwin

Pour one out for the victims of the Bowling Green Massacre, aka the Bowling Green football team. ANG would like to take a moment to remember the 77-10 blowout Bowling Green suffer at the hands of the Ohio State.

Thumbs sideways to the Bachelor, because we really needed another thin-skinned narcissist to love to hate #Corrine #nospoileralerts #CheesePasta

Thumbs down to Feb Club. ANG hasn’t cleared the dance floor at Trinity so effectively since the post-finals party last semester, where ANG was found dancing with a trash can. Well, not so much dancing, as much as putting ANG’s face inside that trash can.

Thumbs up to Lady Gaga winning the Superbowl. ANG hasn’t seen a mic drop that flagrant since Dean Mahoney bolted out of the last day of 1L Contracts to avoid Section C’s questions. To be fair, ANG hasn’t seen someone pull off a silver body suit since Dean Mahoney, either.

Thumbs down to the “so-called” professor that gave ANG an F last semester. It is ridiculous and it will be over-turned!

Thumbs up to Shelia Fredrick for saving a young girl from human trafficking. ANG would like to remind everyone that not all heros wear capes. ANG also would like to remind everyone that even though ANG may be wearing a cape at Bilt, ANG is not a hero.