Sorting the Swag: A Definite Ranking of Law Firm Freebies
As the semester winds down and outlines begin to resemble full-length novels, a quieter transformation is taking place across 1L apartments: the accumulation of law firm merchandise.
From networking receptions to information sessions, law students have spent the last few months nodding politely through panel discussions and smiling through firm-sponsored dinners—all while quietly amassing a growing collection of branded giveaways.
Some items are surprisingly helpful. Others… could probably be recycled without much guilt.
To help you separate the useful from the unnecessary, I’ve compiled a definitive—and unapologetically non-negotiable—ranking of the most common law firm swag items. No write-ins will be accepted. This list is final.
Best: Tide Pens
Compact, practical, and immediately appreciated. For the poor sap who thought ordering spaghetti at a firm dinner with your newly dry-cleaned, white blouse was a good idea, these are lifesavers. These may not be flashy, but they are undeniably functional.
Worst: Pens
Despite their abundance, these pens are rarely worth keeping. They run out of ink quickly, skip constantly, and pale in comparison to better office supply brands. Also, in a world of digital notes and cloud storage, who’s really using pens on a regular basis?
Best and Worst: Water Bottles
The first water bottle is a thoughtful touch. The second is still appreciated. But by the time you reach your fifth or sixth, they’ve gone from practical to problematic. There is simply not enough cabinet space in the average apartment to support a growing collection of stainless steel branding.
Best: Post-it Notes
Whether you’re jotting reminders, flagging pages, or pretending to be more organized than you are, Post-it notes are both versatile and useful. They’re small enough to stash anywhere and visually suggest that you’ve been doing far more reading than you probably have.
Worst: Tiny Notebooks
A classic example of form over function. These notebooks are too small for serious notes and too bulky to casually carry around. They may be cute, but once the novelty wears off, they tend to end up in a drawer, unused and forgotten.
Best: Highlighters
A perennial favorite. While highlighters tend to dry out quickly, that just makes the free extras even more valuable. Whether you're color-coding outlines or just aggressively underlining casebook sections, it’s always helpful to have a few more on hand.
Worst: PopSockets
In theory, a phone accessory seems like a fun idea. In practice, few students want a law firm logo affixed to their phone case. These often end up unused or awkwardly removed after a few days of regrettable brand exposure or an interview comes up with another firm.
Final Thoughts
Law firm swag has become a staple of the recruiting season experience, but not all giveaways are created equal. As finals approach and living spaces get more chaotic, it's worth taking a moment to evaluate what’s actually useful—and what’s just taking up space.
When in doubt, keep the Tide Pens. Recycle the pen. And maybe—just maybe—leave the seventh water bottle behind.
