It’s the article you have all been waiting for: a fully subjective, poo-litical ranking of UVA’s restrooms.

The Jeffs hope this love letter finds you well and warm after Snow Day (which my meteorologist tells me may recur—I shiver in fear at the thought). In any case, we are thrilled, delighted, exhilarated, and similar adjectives to bring you the second installment of Survivor: Apex!