Hot Bench: Geoff Mearns ’27

We’ll just start off, do you want to introduce yourself to all of our readers?

 I’m Geoff Mearns. I’m a 2L; I graduated from UVA in 2020. I’m from Cleveland, Ohio and I lived in New York in between UVA undergrad and UVA law school.

What inspired you to return to UVA?

They let me into law school, so that helped a lot! I love Charlottesville a lot.

Early on in 1L, I think a lot of our section expressed admiration of your lifestyle. What’s been your approach?

Going to UVA undergrad, I knew where to live and what I wanted . . . I need this big studio apartment downtown and I need a wiener dog. So, I did those two things, and I think that’s sort of where it all comes from.

Where did the wiener dog aspiration come from?

They’re just freaky creatures. I don’t know, they’re so funny-looking. I grew up with a rescue dog and I wanted to get a rescue dog, but I also wanted a wiener dog. So then we spent a lot of time trying to find a rescue wiener dog . . . and we found a rescue wiener dog.

And did you adopt her here or in New York?

In New York in 2022. She’s now the old lady of the Mall. She barks at people out of our window every day.

Do people know her on the Mall?

Yes . . . she’s like the anxious, freaked-out wiener dog . . . I’ve had grown Charlottesville adults grab her. [They ask] why she’s scared, and I’m like, you just grabbed her off the ground. It’s happened actually a lot of times . . . 

So you were in New York—you had kind of a big job, didn’t you?

I was working at the DOJ and I worked at SDNY for a couple years. I was assistant to the head of SDNY for a year. It was big, I guess. We worked on some big trials. It didn’t feel that big at the time—in hindsight, maybe. I got to testify at some cool trials, work on some cool stuff. You don’t really know whether people will care about something until after the fact. There’s a case that I worked that was like, this is going to be really awesome and a big story, and then no one cared. And then there were other things that I thought wouldn’t matter, and then it was a big story—like Jen Shah, of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. I knew she was famous . . . but all my friends in Brooklyn would ask me about Jen Shaw. They didn’t give a f*** about Bob Menendez or Eric Adams . . . you could never quite tell what people will care about.

The celebrity factor is pretty hard to beat.

No, it definitely is. I thought Eric Adams—people are going to care, it’s the mayor. But I think everyone assumes the mayor of New York is a corrupt, bad person.

But the Real Housewife – who saw that coming?

Yeah, the housewife is lying to me? That’s bad.

[Speaking of mayors,] I’ve heard whisperings that you’re the mayor of the Law School. Would you care to comment on that?

I don’t think so. I do know too much about UVA, but there’s other mayors of the Law School, namely, George Nalbandian, Nayan, maybe Akshay Mody.

Maybe I’m like the Secretary of State of the Law School. Or Secretary of the Interior.

So, is there sort of a cabal?

There is a Law School deep state that I’m not a part of.

You’re just privy to the deep state, not a part of it.

Yes, I’m not part of the Law School deep state.

[Switching gears,] what about the messenger bag?

So, I was a tote bag guy at work, and I used to get shit for that, but I was like, I can’t wear a backpack to the office because that’s too much. And then I was like, I can’t wear a tote bag to school, because that’s too much. So then I pivoted to the messenger bag . . . I don’t get, honestly, enough shit for it.

It’s the messenger bag plus the silver shoes.

Yeah, the silver shoes are bad. I actually stopped wearing them. I wore the silver shoes in New York. My buddy violated my Instagram so many times that I sent them home. I shipped them home because I was like, I couldn’t even look at them.

I’ve been told to ask you what the best bar is on Wednesdays.

Holly’s Diner is the best pick, but I think Miller’s is still the best pick. Miller’s is always the pick . . . if you want to watch me lose at pool, just come to Miller’s on a Wednesday. I’ll pay a dollar and I’ll lose at Miller’s routinely.

But you beat that one guy once, the really good guy?

I did. Actually, that’s sort of infamous. He was a pool national champion. I have that under my belt.

It was really brave of you to keep playing after that.

I begged him to stay. But he said I won, so I won. So, I think I’m the national champion of pool at Miller’s.