Court of Petty Appeals: 3Ls and the Emotionally Frail v. Thanksgiving Makeup Classes (“TMCs”)
3Ls and the Emotionally Frail
v.
Thanksgiving Makeup Classes (“TMCs”)
78 U.Va 12 (2025)
Demitry, C. J., delivers the opinion of the Court, in which Wu, Vanger, Becker, and Berklich, J.J. join.
Demitry, C.J., delivers the opinion of the Court.
I. FACTS
It was the week before Thanksgiving, and all across North Grounds, the law students of the University of Virginia existed in a state best described as half-corporeal. Their minds had already migrated to distant states, airports, and childhood bedrooms where trophies still displayed their pre-law school self-worth. Their bodies, however, remained—slumped in library carrels and coffee-shop booths like Victorian ghosts whose only unfinished business was outlining.
Every year, this late-November stretch functions as a ritual transition: grades have not yet destroyed anyone’s spirit this semester (except perhaps those unlucky 1Ls with graded midterms), the first wave of seasonal depression has arrived (strong), and the emotional bandwidth required for one more week of seriousness has been reallocated to praying their hometown dentist still accepts Delta Dental.
And then, as if summoned by the collective arrogance that life might finally grant these students a gentler moment, a notification popped up on Canvas. The message contained no comfort, no permission to begin the slow emotional descent into sweatpants, nor even the faint mercy of an asynchronous module. Instead, like a bureaucratic jump-scare, it announced: “Hi class. Fill out this when2meet with your availability for our Thanksgiving makeup class.”
II. NATURE OF THE DISPUTE
The Petitioners—collectively 3Ls, 2Ls, 1Ls, dual-degree wanderers, and whoever still voluntarily participates in class discussion this late in the semester —challenge the Law School’s persistent use of TMCs.
The Respondent, TMC (a proxy entity with no known mailing address, no soul, and no after-hours customer service), asserts that the preservation of instructional minutes is essential to academic integrity and accreditation compliance—two concepts Petitioners argue are significantly overrated relative to the basic human right to log off before the turkey defrosts, or not have three Friday classes this week.
III. ISSUES PRESENTED
Whether forcing students to attend TMCs during the psychological-exit-ramp known as the Week-Before-Thanksgiving constitutes a violation of the implied covenant of mental disengagement owed to every law student paying tuition above $70,000 per annum.
Whether academic policies may compel attendance from students whose bodies remain in Charlottesville, but whose souls, cognition, and browser tabs have already fled to Expedia.com.
IV. DISCUSSION
A. The Historic Sanctity of the Pre-Thanksgiving Emotional Shutdown™
Like not texting “We need to talk” without context or never microwaving fish in a shared workspace, there are social contracts not written but universally understood. Among them: the three days before Thanksgiving belong to no one. Not employers. Not professors. Not even the American Bar Association.
Petitioners correctly argue that the Monday–Wednesday pre-holiday zone exists as a culturally protected decompression chamber: a time to pretend outlines are “actually in good shape” and your parents are proud of you. TMCs effectively eradicate that pre-holiday liminal space, forcing a final push of mental effort and energy that is so depleting it actually decreases the amount of recharge that is even possible during the holiday.
B. Pedagogical Justification, also known as “Because We Said So”
Respondent claims TMCs are necessary for intellectual continuity. However, Petitioners rightly note that student comprehension levels by this date are comparable to a Roomba stuck under a dresser. This Court rejects any argument implying “if we teach it, they will learn it,” when in fact it is well-known that no one learns anything after October 27.
C. The ABA & The 80% Attendance Mandate: A Comedy of Professional Regulation
Before proceeding, the Court pauses to acknowledge the silent elephant in the accreditation room: the American Bar Association’s insistence that law students attend at least 80% of classes in order to remain in good academic standing, maintain degree eligibility, avoid administrative discipline, and, presumably, demonstrate the level of moral fiber required to not bang your clients later.
The Court finds the requirement especially absurd when applied to classes occurring 48–72 hours before students are legally obligated to argue with Coors Light-drunk relatives who think “the law” is whatever Donald Trump.
That said, and in the interest of continuing to a) exist as an institution capable of conferring federally recognized degrees (lol @ Texas) and b) to stay on the good side of those pencil-pushing do-nothing bureaucrats at the American Bar Association.
Just kidding, ABA—you are a flawless beacon of professional excellence. Thank you again for the very prestigious and utterly legitimate award you recently bestowed upon this noble newspaper and by extension the larger UVA Law community (except for the Bar Czards). You are radiant, immaculate, and beyond reproach. We are just making silly jokes. We love you, and our pretty new award.
V. HOLDING
For the foregoing reasons, and in recognition of (1) the constitutional right to pre-holiday disengagement, (2) the pedagogical futility of attempting to teach law to students who are already mentally boarding Delta Flight 237, and (3) the absurdity of treating attendance like a probation condition, the Court finds for Petitioners.
Thanksgiving-week makeup classes are hereby declared invalid, unenforceable, and contrary to both common sense and seasonal morale. They shall no longer operate as a compulsory academic event, nor as a covert attendance-trap disguised as “instructional integrity.”
VI. ORDER
Accordingly, it is ORDERED:
No TMCs. No TMC shall be held after 12:00 p.m. on the Friday preceding Thanksgiving week, regardless of modality, professor preference, or administrative optimism.
Any class time allegedly “missed” may be satisfied by asynchronous content, written materials, or simply not made up at all upon mutual, silent agreement.
Attendance for any session scheduled during Thanksgiving week is deemed presumptively excused, without adverse academic consequence, inquiry, or judgment.
Zoom attendance shall be permitted when (a) travel is ongoing, (b) travel is imminent, or (c) the student has simply “had enough.”
VII. FINAL OBSERVATION
The Court notes that the true purpose of Thanksgiving is not gratitude, pumpkin desserts, or professional rest—it is the temporary restoration of the illusion that we once were normal, fully formed people.
This illusion must be protected.
It is so ordered.