Hot Bench: Tanner Noronha-Weeks ’28

Interviewed by: Staff Editor — Benvin Lozada ’28

benvin@virginia.edu

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Welcome to the Hot Bench! How are you enjoying your 1L year?

It's fantastic. I love the University of Virginia. I love all the people here.

Glad to hear it! What brought you to UVA Law?

I used to perform for a living. And I heard law students were particularly performative, so I figured out that I could come up here and be a performative lawyer for a couple of years.

What has excited you the most about your time here?

I'm a pretty even-keeled guy, even though I come off as pretty outgoing. But there’s one thing that gets me really excited, and it's free food. I'll be having a tough day, maybe reading Con Law or something, and then I'll see “come to a Virginia Law Women lunch and learn,” and I'm just so stoked that I get to have Ivy Provisions. So that's super exciting for me.

What’s the best free food that you've had?

I'll start with the worst: Roots. We should eliminate that from every free food docket unless you're trying to get me not to come. But for the best? I think Pineapples [Thai Kitchen]. Pineapples is definitely bussing.

You once texted your friends to ask a question for you while you were absent from Crim. What was the question?

It was a hypothetical. I don't remember the exact content, but my professor said, “If I read that on an exam, I would say, ‘Hmm, that's creative, but no.’”

I've heard you tend to cold-call other students in your class. How do you decide who's on call?

First of all, I'd like to clear the air: I don't cold-call anybody. I throw up alley-oops to my boys. But how do I decide? Well, sometimes Daniel Judd [’28] is just shaking with enthusiasm, ready to answer a question, and I'm like, “Oh, I’ve gotta tell the teacher that Daniel wants to answer this question.” Or Collin Pivnick [’28] is sitting next to me super locked in, and I have no idea what I just got asked, so again, I pass the ball to him in the paint, hoping he'll dunk it. It's just whichever one of my boys I think is excited to answer the question.

In Torts, you suggested that the law should recognize a “special relationship” with the boys. Is this part of that relationship?

Oh, of course. Boys should cold-call boys. You gotta keep your boys on their toes and make sure their reaction speed’s in tip-top shape.

I don't know what this means, but I was told to ask you about Water Wednesdays?

Yes, Water Wednesdays, I won't pretend to have coined the term (I believe that’s largely due to Daniel Judd, Collin Pivnick, and Brian Stanmeyer [’28], but it's basically hot tub with the boys at North Grounds.

What was your favorite part of going to Florida State?

[Adamantly] I didn't go to Florida State. I would never go to Florida State. People who go to Florida State are very unique in the best ways. My little sister goes there, but I would never go there.

Do you think that Billy Napier getting fired was the right call? Do you like John Sumrall?

I think firing Napier was the right call. It's too early to tell on John Sumrall, but it was kind of a slap in the face to hire another G5 coach from Louisiana. Just to clarify, I like John Sumrall. He’s everything Billy was not. Oh, and for all my Texas readers, John Sumrall little brothered Sark and the Texas wallet multiple times on Dallas Wilson and Jaden Baugh.

You briefly alluded to your performance and dancing career. What is the intersection between civil procedure and jazz music?

As a jazz performer, I’ve done multimedia recordings, opened up for Jason Derulo with my band [extensive Jason Derulo sidebar omitted], and generally been exposed to great jazz musicians. But, I think the striking similarity between civil procedure and jazz music is: I have no idea what's going on while participating in either.

Would you rather do firm recruiting all over again or have Georgia win another football natty?

Easily recruiting.

Did your GroupMe message get you into Stetson’s Evidence?

No, by the time I dropped it on Monday night, there were still three people on there. Shout out to the six that dropped it, though; they were there for me.

And a final question: I know that your girlfriend has been supporting you through this entire law school process. Is there anything you would like to tell our readers about what an amazing person she is?

I think it speaks volumes to be able to put up with me for six years. Oh, and also: I love you, Amber. You can tack that on at the end.

[Note: Following the interview, the author was gifted a home-cooked meal by Mr. Noronha-Weeks. It was, in fact, bussing.]