Hot Bench: Caitlin Clarke

So, Caitlin, I hear you're taking up tennis. How hard is it to introduce another sport like tennis when you're already a basketball star? 

You know, it's difficult to deal with the fame sometimes, so it's good to be well-rounded when it comes to your hobbies, and hopefully one day I can be just as good at tennis and excel the way I have with basketball. 

That is such a good answer. So, where are you from? 

I'm from New Jersey, and I'm from Central Jersey, which does exist, and I won't accept anyone saying anything to the contrary. 

How often do people say something to the contrary? 

A lot of people from North and South Jersey give me, can I curse in this? They give me shit about it. 

Do they think that Central Jersey should be like . . .  just more North or South Jersey? 

They think that you either live in North Jersey or South Jersey, and they're wrong, but they're entitled to their wrong opinion. 

That's upsetting to hear, but I'm glad you're taking it with, you know, a brave face, etc. 

Thank you. I try. 

The thing that's most important about New Jersey is, of course, the Greek diners. 

Absolutely. There was one right by my high school, a bedrock of New Jersey.  

Do you like spanakopita? 

I don't know what it is, but it sounds lovely. 

Okay, well, I'll make you some. Don't even worry. So what are you doing after graduation?  

Suffering. 

Oh no.  

But only because of studying for the bar. I'm going to be going to Willkie in New York after I hopefully pass the bar. And I'm really excited. I do really like my firm and the people there, so yay! 

That's awesome! What's been your favorite part of UVA law? 

Oh, gosh . . . 

Leaving it? Haha kidding. 

Yeah, well, I'll say I really loved our clinic. 

Hell yeah. 

And my wonderful clinic partner. I don't know if you've ever heard of her. 

Nicky Demitry, just the best. 

No, never heard of her. Kinda sounds like she sucks. Who is she? 

Who is she? 

She’s an absentee. 

And then my friend group, I have to say that my group of friends has really made law school tolerable, and they're just the best. 

Aw, that's cute! What is your favorite activity that you guys do as a group?  

We really like to go to the Chinese buffet on Route 29 and just go to town there. It's all you can eat. And that's very fun–just yapping and hitting the buffet. 

Yeah, that place rocks. That's a great answer. And honestly, it should serve as an example to the youths.  

Absolutely, youngsters. 

If you had not gone to law school, what do you think you would be doing? 

Oh, goodness. I think that I probably would have tried to get a Master's in teaching. I was substitute teaching and working with kids at a summer camp before law school. 

I don't know if I could hack it because that is a very hard job, but I would have at least given that a shot, probably. 

Yeah, that is a hard job, but I am told it is rewarding.  

Yeah, I was working with middle schoolers and . . . 

They're so scary. 

It's rough. It's rough getting roasted every day, but it's also fun. After you deal with middle schoolers, no one else can really scare you the same way. 

That's such a good point. I do think middle schoolers are scarier than high schoolers. What is your opinion on that? 

I absolutely agree with that. They’re [middle schoolers] still learning how to be people, so that involves some meanness. 

Ok, attempted lightning round. Best coffee shop in Charlottesville? 

Oh, goodness. You know, I just tried Tribute coffee that's on Arlington Boulevard. They just opened, and it was quite good. I like the Shenandoah Joe on Preston as well. But I'm a matcha gal, not a coffee drinker. 

Have you tried the strawberry matcha or any matcha, really, at Give and Take? 

I haven't. I just learned that strawberry matcha exists today.  

That's my favorite, because I’m basic.  

I gotta try it. 

Are you allergic to pollen? 

Yes. I started sniffling the other day, and in New Jersey, spring comes a little bit later, and I didn't know what was happening.  And I looked at my weather app, and the pollen was high, and it all made sense. 

Yeah, and now it’s time for cold weather again. Virginia! Where is the best bathroom at the law school? 

Ooh. I think a really good one, less well known, is the one that is in the hallway between OPP and the clinic hallway.  

Oh, is that the one that we sit by when we're waiting for Professor Enright? 

Exactly. 

That is a good one. 

Yeah, that one is good vibes. They have an air freshener in there. It's much better than... 

Well, I would say some of the worst are the gender neutral bathrooms in Slaughter Hall. Those are the opposite vibes. There's a sinister energy in there. 

That's a controversial take, but I do agree with it. I like the fact that it's like its own fiefdom and you're in there by yourself, and I like the fact that the doors will tell people if it's occupied or not, so you're not too worried about being invaded. But also, I have to agree that the vibes are not good there in that corner of Slaughter. 

You know, it's just a little spooky. 

Okay, if you could give one piece of advice to incoming 1Ls or baby 1Ls, what would it be?  

I would say, remember that your grade is based pretty much entirely on the exam, and invest your time accordingly. Perhaps let go of your fear of bombing a cold call because sometimes that's the best thing that can happen to you. 

That's good advice. I mean, I will say every time I have had a cold call that didn't go well . . .  I will remember that content for the rest of my life. 

Yeah, the suffering is memorable. 

The suffering is memorable. That's a tramp stamp that I'm going to get on the way out of law school. 

It signifies the experience well. 

Yeah, law school is a three-year hazing ritual to keep out the poors.  

It really is, especially with the recruiting timeline for the 1Ls. We’re venturing outside of hazing and into, you know, torture in violation of the Geneva Convention. 

Well, thank God international law isn't real. 

Oof. Yes. 

We'd be in big trouble if there was any type of mechanism to actually enforce international laws. Ha. 

What a time. I laugh so I don't cry. 

Ain't that the truth? Okay, let's see. Final question. What is your favorite dinosaur?

Ooh. Let me delve into my Land Before Time knowledge. 

What traumatic knowledge that is. 

I know…  

I did eat a lot of vegetables because of the tree stars, though.  I was like, those look fucking delicious. 

Oh my gosh, they do. I wish that I could try a tree star. Littlefoot was really a lucky one– 

Was he? 

–but I'm gonna give an answer based on Land Before Time, and I'm actually gonna pick a particular dinosaur who is my favorite, and that will be Petri. 

Nice. 

The pterodactyl from Land Before Time. That’s my bestie. 

Other than Petri, who's the hottest dinosaur in Land Before Time? 

Controversial take—I'm going to have to say one of the sharp-tooth dinos, aka the T. Rex. 

Daaaamn. 

I don't approve of their actions, but– 

Caitlin likes a villain. 

No! No, no, just in Land Before Time only. I want the opposite of a bad boy. 

Okay, fair enough. Thank you for being willing to be hotbenched. This has been excellent. 

Thank you! It's been fun.