Hot Bench: Nicky Demitry

Thank you for being willing to sit on the other side of the Hot Bench and for helping the column end on a high note! To start, who are you and where did you come from?

I am Nicky, and I’m from nowhere in particular—military brat. I’ve been in Charlottesville, Virginia for quite a while now, though, so I claim it.

As a frantic 1L in the depths of property outlining, what kind of claim are you making?

Well, not adverse possession. My presence here is certainly hostile, but it is not exclusive. And I haven't been here for 15 years yet. I don't think there's any type of tolling that I could claim. So, no adverse possession, just verse possession. That's not a thing, but it could be. Hope this helps!

How did you join the Law Weekly originally, and what has kept you returning week after week?

My friend Ashanti (also on the e-board of Law Weekly) brought me to a meeting during 1L! Like many awkward introverts, I require a friendly extrovert to soft launch me in social situations. As for returning week after week, it’s gotta be the people, you’re all my favorite people here. Oh. And the NEWS. I care about the NEWS.

What do you mean by the NEWS?

I've really enjoyed our editors, who are more involved in the day-to-day at UVA Law. For example, all the pieces about the fish that was here, the koi. I hope that Adam and others continue to update our readers on such happenings around North Grounds. So by the news, I mean important things like the fish and snacks and such. It's important.

We could afford to have more coverage of the snacks, honestly. How has the Weekly changed since you joined? Beyond the marked improvement in vibes during your tenure as fearless leader, or Editor-In-Chief, I mean.

That’s a good question, and good job pandering to my ego, I appreciate that. The Law Weekly does feel, at times, less like an institution and more like a recurring condition that persists, mutates, and inevitably reasserts itself regardless of who is nominally in charge. Each year brings a new staff convinced they will finally impose order, coherence, or, at the very least, a workable funding schema. And each year, the Law Weekly quietly reasserts itself as some sort of sentient, semi-resistant tulpa that effectuates into the physical plane via the infernal hell dimension that is InDesign. I like that the Law Weekly is so responsive to the whims of the ruling [Law School] Class (double entendre). It’s like . . . iconoclastic but for the petit bourgeoisie.

During your time at the Weekly, you have spearheaded an unparalleled jurisprudence of rodent law—what prompted this interest? Where do you see the field evolving in the future?

Yes, I am a big fan of the rats. I was a bartender all through college and a bit beyond, and I really bonded with the Charlottesville rat community while taking the bar trash out between roughly 2:00 and 3:00 a.m.—their peak hours, professionally speaking.

There was also a family of extremely cute baby rats living in those grate-covered tree roots on the Downtown Mall near Violet Crown. In the early mornings, they’d pop up like little meerkats while I was walking my dog. We’d sit outside Mudhouse—me with a coffee, her fully locked in watching what we came to call “Rat TV.”

At some point, my bar industry coworkers and I realized there was a full-blown rodent schism: the Day Rats and the Night Rats. The Day Rats were tiny, polite, almost disarmingly charming. You’d see one and think, “Maybe the city is healing.” The Night Rats, on the other hand, were . . . not that. Easily chihuahua-sized, visibly organized, and carrying themselves with the confidence of creatures that have mastered collective action (America could never). I’m fairly certain one of them attempted to mug me after a shift when I was sent home with salmon skins for my dog. It was a tense situation. I don’t want to speculate about intent, but there was eye contact, there was movement, and I was outnumbered, until a couple of other humans happened to pass by.

Now the only rats I spend time with are attorneys. :/

As for evolution... I really hope the rats are able to continue to litigate their adverse possession claims over the Dewberry building downtown. In my mind, all the elements have been met, and that 15-year time limit has passed since last year. The only viable argument I see on the City’s side is arguing that the rats’ possession is not actually hostile, because at this point in the Dewberry saga, is the City not just consenting to its presence and its occupants? Still, that’s ultimately a question for the courts. Ideally, a jury. Ideally, a jury on which I serve.

Viva La Rat King. 

@ Brad and Kelly I know you’re going to be tempted to edit this response to be shorter but I swear to god I’ll sabotage indesign. I swear–

You talk about rat law, but we've also seen some developments with squirrel law starting to be brought up. Do you see any developments with other rodents developing legal interests, or do you think it's just going to be the rats?

That's a great question. I think that the rats have more dominance than the squirrels do at present. But you never know. These things can really change on a dime. I think that perhaps the rats and the squirrels should try to join together. I will continue leaving out little seeds and such for the neighborhood squirrels. The rats have higher-class taste at this point. Kulaks are developing amongst the rodent classes, and that is always an interesting thing to watch develop.

People are always asking 3Ls for advice, so does it ever get annoying dealing with the youngsters? Should we do a better job of figuring it out on our own?

No, you’re all perfect. I’m living vicariously through you. You’re my role models.

After you say good riddance to North Grounds, what are you looking forward to over the summer?

Immediately replacing law school stress with a new, more sophisticated variety.

Given your clinical and prosecutorial experience, what would be the dream case to prosecute?

Ideally, one where the defendant is guilty, and there is actual evidence to support that finding. Also, I’m in a version of America that behaves like Denmark or Norway in its approach to criminal justice, with a strong emphasis on rehabilitation and procedural transparency. And I’m tall. And a man.

Attempted Lightning Round: Favorite Charlottesville bookstore?

Heartwood on Elliewood. Double wood. I’m sorry.

What movie or book do you think all law students should have to watch or read during school?

For a movie, My Cousin Vinny. For a book, either Bullshit Jobs by Dave Graeber or Misdemeanorland by Issa Kohler-Hausmann.

Who did you always want to Hot Bench but never got the chance to? 

You, Andrew, obviously. I’m collecting all homeschoolers like Pokémon. And Brad Berklich. My Hot Bench questions for him would be intolerably niche. Please consult with me when you Hot Bench him on his way out this time next year.

Any plans for your theoretical free time after graduation?

I am very excited to be staying with my office here in town as a Kennedy Fellow!

Are you getting annoyed with people asking you about graduation and your plans?

Never!

Thanks for being willing to be Hot Benched and for your leadership this year!

Hahaha leadership. We do our best; you just gotta keep trucking.