Jacob Jones ‘21
Even without galloping horses, prancing ponies, wide open fields to frolic in, and some other fourth thing that defines the otherwise-annual event,1 the UVA Law student body turned out to show how much they like to get together and day-drink. The 1Ls seemed to be there in the greatest numbers because the pizza was unlimited, and UVA Law students put the true meaning of “unlimited” to the test. After trekking up a narrow stairway that burned nearly as many calories as the pizza contained, students were treated to barbeque bacon, pepperoni, and some sort of pizza with mushrooms on it.2 If you came to this event and did not meet your weekly carb quota in just a few hours, you missed out. Crozet Pizza has some of the best pizza in Charlottesville, and I would like to thank them for hosting our somewhat-sloppy selves.
Two Law School bands showed up to demonstrate how amazingly talented some students here are apart from their ability to write case briefs. First to take the stage, Panic! at the District Court—the new band composed entirely of 1Ls—made its premiere performance with Dean Dixon on drums, Matt Hoffer-Hawlik on keyboard, Christian Sheets on guitar, Jaqueline Foley singing and slapping the bass, and Zane Clark doing what he does best 3 (playing guitar and singing with a stunning cowboy hat to crown his performance). The band was breaking hearts from the moment they opened up with “1985.” After following with what were surely memorable songs, which were somewhat country in nature, Panic! at the District Court made a graceful exit. Rumor has it they have signed with Interscope Records and will be asking Dean Faulk for a deferral to pursue their true dream of being a legal-pun rock band.
Their performance––impossible to follow––was followed by a spectacular Gunners N’ Roses performance. Country hits like “Sweet Home Alabama” and “Wagon Wheel” were a few hints to the event’s theme. Both bands created plenty of opportunity for law students who can’t dance to pretend that they can, and this writer took advantage of the occasion. The music was undoubtedly the best part of the event, and we are all grateful our friends and classmates took time to entertain us.
FYC and SBA put a lot of effort into this and deserve as much applause as Gunners N’ Roses. However, a few things were noticeably missing. The first was an advertised photobooth that turned out to be no more than a pile of hay bales. And speaking of hay, any gathering in the fall is incomplete without a hay ride from an old farmer on this tractor. Where was he, SBA? What could be better than bottomless pizza on a tractor? 1Ls were also required to buy tickets to an event and were given no option to pay less for non-drinking tickets unless they had religious or moral objections. Not drinking was apparently not a good enough excuse, forcing those who didn’t want to drink to subsidize the bad decisions of their peers. This is the sort of injustice this paper strives to call out.4
With UVA Law students unable to show off their preppiest clothing that I assume they would otherwise wear to an event as bougie as a horse race, they had to make do with the second-whitest5 event theme possible. A cowboy/country theme for this gathering led to many men donning flannels and making other questionable fashion choices, clearly doing their best to look like Woody from Toy Story. In that effort, UVA Law boys donned vests and boots that sadly did not have the spinning spikes on the back that real cowboys wear. Several brave men (although not nearly enough) wore cutoff jean shorts, giving the event some real country credibility. Turning to women’s fashion, flannels also dominated, with pointy boots and skirts (all impractical for riding horses) making appearances as well. Enough flannels were tied around waists to give the event a slight ’90s feeling, and cowboy hats were everywhere. Many students must’ve used those ten-gallon hats to smuggle in their extra booze.
While the fashion was fierce, the friendship was fiercer, and the recently formed class of 2021 had a chance to let loose and shake off stress from midterms and two hard months of classes. More friendship would have been had if Crozet had not run out of their much-anticipated Jello shots far too early in the afternoon.
Overall, Fauxfield was fun and memorable, and 1Ls should be glad they got to miss the chance to subsidize an over-priced day at the races.
1 I am a 1L. I have never been to the real Foxfield.
2 Mushrooms are gross.
3 Aside from being a softball dad
4 Editor’s note: While the Editorial Board may agree with the statements criticizing the non-drinking ticket option, we also feel the need to call out the 1Ls complaining about paying $25 dollars for the replacement of Foxfield. Given that the normal event usually requires the 1Ls to use hundreds of dollars of their 1L funds to subsidize free eating and drinking for all upperclassmen, these lucky 1Ls have no idea how good a deal they got.
5 Second most horse-related as well