Phil Tonseth ’22
Staff Editor
Darty, the colloquial phrase for a day party, is the base theme for Fauxfield. To the casual observer, Fauxfield is nothing more than law students enjoying pizza, refreshments and quality bands all day long. However, in only one year’s time, Fauxfield is both the Alpha and Omega for UVA Law in the fall, establishing the line of demarcation between summer and winter. It signals the transition from a carefree first few months of class, football tailgates, and Thursday nights spent at Carter Mountain getting the perfect picture for “the ‘gram,” to the impending doom of finals season for 1Ls, cuffing season for everyone else, sweater weather, and—a new pain felt this year—the seasonal end of Natural Light’s beer of the summer, Naturdays. Filled with debauchery, I invite you to join along and experience the journey of Fauxfield from a first-time participant’s perspective.
10:00 a.m.: Wake up and check the weather. Even though Spooky SZN[1] is here (or Halloween for normal people), today is not the day for a costume. I’m really regretting owning neither any Uggs nor a flannel, and for not having a Keuring for a pumpkin spice latte to fill out the fall theme, so jeans and a t-shirt will have to do.[2]
10:02 a.m.: I have already begun to doubt myself. A mimosa is the proper way to enjoy a nice brunch, but is there a fall equivalent? While I don’t have any apple cider handy, I reassured myself that the dash of orange juice in champagne was at least one fruit serving for the day that would make my mom proud. Take that, V-8.
1:05 p.m.: Can you pre-game a darty? Is it really a pre-game if you and your 1L friends spent time discussing whether a haunted house can be liable for IIED if you desecrate your own pants?[3] It may be the mimosas speaking, but that could be an exam question for 2023 1Ls in Torts to really make them reevaluate if they’ve learned anything.
2:00 p.m.: My sources state both that the bluegrass band was quality music as an opener, and that the Biltmore was fazed by its competition for music supremacy. Playing Skrillex at 2 p.m. was not the way to attract more customers, @Biltmore.
3:33 p.m.: I thought walking from the Pavilion to Crozet would burn the few calories I had consumed during the pre-game, as well as work up my appetite for pizza. Turns out, I had too many mimosas and made a horrible decision. I arrived both late for free Jell-o shots, as well as covered in sweat. At least the pizza is endless.
4:00 p.m.: I find my foot casually tapping along with the beat. Panic! at the District Court[4] lived up to their theme of the year, playing “strictly bangers.” Zane Clark ’21, and vocals and base for Panic!, later asserted that “it was great to play a full set in front of an awesome crowd,”[5] while also giving a shout-out to the huge LLM presence. Jacqueline Foley ’21, lead singer, added, “it’s really cool that something that started by a fly of your pants thing ended up as such a cool event.” I fully support that statement, but it may be the copious Jell-O shots I bought to make up for lost time speaking.[6]
5:13 p.m.: Will Tucker ’20, master saxophonist for The Gunners,[7] was “relieved to play for just the Law School again.” “Who needs horses when you have this?” boasted the Gunner’s lead singer, Katharine Janes ’21, during their set. While I think a valid argument could be made to add a mechanical bull next year to truly make Fauxfield a wild time, I’m not sure the SBA is willing to take on that liability.[8]
5:50 p.m.: Professor Ferzan made a very compelling case for being one of the coolest professors at the Law School. Her rendition of “Heartbreaker” by Pat Benatar was both a “banger” and brought the house down.
6:42 p.m.: I’m not as young as I used to be, I need to sit down. Luckily enough, I ran into Co-Head PA Molly Cain ’20, SBA President Jasmine Lee ’20, and Co-Director and Vibe Curator of the Fauxfield Planning Committee, Taz Jones ’20. Molly was quick to point out that “Fauxfield is easily [her] favorite event of the year. The live music by both bands, with multiple throwbacks to Green Day by Panic! and the playing of multiple ‘bangers’ made this event awesome. Plus, Professor Ferzan singing with The Gunners was tremendous.”
8:02 p.m.: The crowd is not ready for this night to end, but I am. I need a nap.
Luckily, I snagged Read Mills ’20, both a Co-Director of Fauxfield and the singer/guitarist for The Gunners following their set. “This was a bigger success than last year and way better than expectations,” he breathlessly exclaimed. “I’m in shock, both by the amazing band performances and the flawless nature of the event overall.” The fact that the size of the crowd still dancing at 8 p.m. rivaled that to any crowd in the prior six hours proves Read’s point. Fauxfield was worth the time and effort. Shoutout to SBA for a great event![9]
Although I am less than three months into law school and still impressionable, Fauxfield did not disappoint. Multiple times I heard attendees stating their pleasure with the event, the specials, bands, and overall atmosphere of the day. I can only hope SBA will continue this event in the future. Succinctly stated by Taz Jones, “To me, Fauxfield objectively supersedes Foxfield: lower price point for bigger benefits, a more comfortable climate, and a perfectly suited space reserved exclusively for our classmates to get together for a fun break from schoolwork.” I fully concur. For all those that skipped out, I only wish you make up for the errors in your way and attend next year.
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pjt5hm@virginia.edu
[1] Take advantage of Spooky SZN and rock out to The Gunners on October 31 at 10 p.m. at Boylan’s official Halloween party.
[2] A picture was still taken for “the ‘gram” with the caption, Spooky SZN.
[3] Complete hypothetical, unless someone in my friend group has a Lady Gaga-esque poker face.
[4] Follow them on Instagram at @paniccourtuva.
[5] If any 1Ls are interested in starting a band or are in need of equipment, please reach out to Zane!
[6] Panic! at the District Court will be tabling in ScoCo the next two weeks to sell t-shirts, check them out!
[7] Follow them on Instagram at @TheGunnersUVA.
[8] The organizers of Fauxfield fully endorse this idea, liability insurance coverage pending. Another idea, each 1L section should draft the fastest person from their section to dress up as a horse and then have them race around Crozet. Food for thought.
[9] Read Mills and Taz Jones would like to publicly thank the SBA members who contributed to this event and helped with tabling: Savanna Williams, Lera Bamgbala, Ben Elron, Katherine O’Neal, Sara Phipps, Josh Short, Steven Bonniwell, Chase Harris, Austin Schlatter, and Katharine Janes.