Jacob Jones ‘21
Last Saturday, the 1Ls and LLMs gathered at The Park on North Grounds for the event known as Dandelion. The event, which started in 1984 as a calm and respectable parade, has now turned into an amateur rendition of “So You Think You Can Dance” that makes you question whether we really go to a top ten law school. With perfect weather, high spirits, and just the right amount of pizza and beer in their stomachs, the class of 2022 began their attempt to see if they had any hopes for a fallback music career in case any of this “law” stuff doesn’t work out.
Section A (plus) set the standard for the rest of the sections that followed. Their dance, set to the tune of “YMCA,” had a lot of high-energy pointing and other classic dance moves that don’t require a lot of practice beforehand. Section A got plus points for having matching T-shirts, but they really upped their game by bringing a live baby into the dance. While they didn’t win, Section A had the most energy and enthusiasm of any section, and could be seen dancing in a circle well after the competition had ended.
Section B was up next, and they brought a lot of low-energy hand clapping. It looked like they forgot what their routine was for a minute, but towards the end they rallied and managed some coordinated dance moves. There was also a cardboard sign about debt, but I still had no idea what was going on. Like most exams that end up as a B, confusion prevailed throughout, but there was enough tying it together that kept this performance in someone’s good graces. At least they played High School Musical.
Next was Section C, and did they ever “C-eaze” the moment with their spectacular performance. In the middle of their poppin’ and “tightly choreographed” dance performance, there were some attempted cheerleader lifts and attempted bribing of the judges with candy. But where they really shined was the all-male dance to “Laffy Taffy,” which the judges would later say “emanated sex.” Section C clearly came prepared and it showed.
Next, Section D had an interpretive performance of a meme that played out surprisingly well. The interpretation of “What X thinks I do” for 1Ls showed how friends view them as rich, professors view 1Ls as worshipping them, and 2Ls and 3Ls think they make a lot of Spongebob References. After getting knocked down, they got back up again, and then got knocked down, and so on until they laid crying on the floor. Such is 1L.
Section E, not wanting to be outdone by Section A, doubled the number of babies they brought. With a concept that might have been about relationships in law school, they linked arms and danced in circles to Taylor Swift, and had another great dance set to “All the Single Ladies.” Section E had a great performance that will set the standard for the number of babies that should be in performances for years to come.
Section F stood out for having the only copy of Black’s Law Dictionary that I’ve ever actually seen in person. With their snazzy coordinated outfits, IRS jokes, worm dances, and giant “F” flag, Section F gets an honorable mention. Alas, the competition was just too tough, but in an average year they would have placed in at least the top 3.
Section G, probably following the advice their PAs gave them, made their skit about the different parts of law school. Their Disney-themed performance was a standout. First, orientation welcomed the 1L class to “A Whole New World.” Then, after realistic portrayals of 1L professors and networking opportunities set to “I Just Can’t Wait to be King,” the 1Ls defeated existential despair by drinking a beer. Section G gave another great performance that didn’t place solely because of the tough competition.
Section H featured two guys dancing semi-shirtless in front of their section-mates. “And that was it. The whole thing,” reported one witness who preferred to not be named.
Section I pulled out all the stops. And by stops, I mean every generic dance they could think of in the five minutes they spent preparing their dance routine. They did the vintage “step side-to-side and clap,” the classic “hold your nose and pretend to snorkel,” and who could forget the Conga line. I haven’t seen this much enthusiasm for generic dances since white people discovered the Macarena in the 1990s.
Section J, not wanting to be outdone by Section I in the creative dance department, invented a whole new dance where they held out one arm and flipped their palms up and down. Unfortunately, Section J committed the classic Dandelion error of thinking that someone could hear them. I think they were trying to make up their own words to a song, so points for creativity, but then they didn’t even memorize the words and read off pieces of paper, so they broke even. Really, the blunder is the fault of Section J’s PAs for not letting them know ahead of time how this would work. To their credit, they managed to smile through it all.
Last, and certainly not least, came the international superstars, UVA’s very own LLMs. With the most choreographed performance that was set to the same High School Musical song, the LLMs knocked it out of the park. Their pom-poms, which were occasionally dropped, contributed to a performance that will cement this incoming LLM class as the coolest in the history of LLM classes, maybe ever.
In the end, the LLMs placed third, Section D second, and whether through bribery, seduction, or both, Section C took home the gold. While some continued to dance, Section C began the inaugural softball game against the stacked NGSL team, because remember, this whole thing is all about softball. While Section C lost eighteen to two—because that’s the whole point—there was a short movement where Section C was beating the competition one to zero. A moment where a bunch of scrappy underdogs in boat shoes, flip flops, and even a barefoot guy came together and were beating the most stacked team all of UVA Law could put together. And while they didn’t win, they showed a lot of heart and teamwork, which will serve them well in the year to come. The same can be said of all the other sections that performed this year.
 Back in my day (2018), we had to walk a mile in the rain from Ivy, and then dance in the same downpour just so we could be booed by 2Ls and 3Ls. Apparently, this was the first Dandelion in three years where it didn’t rain.
 Thanks, North Grounds Softball League!
 Eds. Note: the author is biased, given his position as a boyfriend for a PA for Section A. Take his opinions with a grain of salt.
 Get it? Seize? It’s not as bad of a joke as Carpe Donut, ok? They based a whole business around that pun.
 It’s a good thing these were only attempted, because 1Ls, beer, and cheerleader stunts on asphalt do not go well together.
 “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?”