When one grows up in the Pacific Northwest, one makes friends with the rain. It is the inevitable. However, sitting on the hour-long drive from Charlottesville to Doswell as water droplets thump harder and harder against the roof of the car, one begins to question just how familiar one can be with the rain. This is the predicament I find myself in on Saturday. We pull into the parking lot of Kings Dominion, where it is largely empty. Not a great sign for a theme park on a Saturday afternoon. But—much like the soon-to-be Foxfield attendees sunk-fallacied into an appearance—we too are $80 into this adventure.

In light of the rain, our first stop is the gift shop for ponchos. Surprisingly, the pricing seemed sympathetic to park-goers and their unwieldy umbrellas. The ponchos cost only $8.49.[1] Covered, hooded, and ready-to-go, the rain turns into more of a mist of sorts as we make our way to the rides. The rollercoaster lines are less of a line and more of a smattering of individuals: a newfound perk of being at the amusement park in the midst of a shower.[2] As the rides go on, the rain starts to grow and creep its way onto more and more of my clothing. We sit down on “Bad Apple”, a rotating fidget-spinner-looking ride.[3] As we turn through the air, I feel my eyes pelted with water, and the thin-plastic poncho is barely clinging onto my knees. By the end of the ride, the insides of my boots are lined with puddles, and I wring out the sleeves of my sweater inside the diner. We sit and watch the storm play out while we wait for evening to fall.

It is now 6:55 p.m. The announcer of the park cackles that there are five minutes left until the Halloween Haunt begins. We walk outside to minimal rain as the actors get in their places, already in character. A church bell rings, and fog bellows into the park. It is unclear to me at which point the artificial fog ends and the real stormy sky begins.

There are six Macabre Mazes (aka haunted houses) and five Sinister Scare Zones this year at Kings Dominion. Our app informs us that the Cornstalkers: Blood Harvest and other outdoor zones are flooded out due to weather. In lieu of the corn maze, we walk our way to the Masquerade scare zone, where the man at the entrance snickers at us, “trash in trash bags.” Here, the haunters are decked out in elaborate dresses and tuxedos dripping in blood. They carry fans that snap in your face, and mysterious giggling can be heard passing through the ballroom decor. Right past the Masquerade lies the Catacombs scare zone, where vampires and the undead monsters are masked by the fog. The only light in the area was seemingly the glow of the $18.99 “don’t scare me” necklaces and the glow of red contact lenses.

We make our way to the first haunted “house” of the night: Grimmwoods, the wooden trail of scary storybook characters. Here, we learn that tickets are now all done through QR codes, which are separate from our entry passes. The workers at the front struggle to teach us how to sign up to redeem the passes we already purchased as the line of five people makes their way through the haunts. Passes finally in hand and phone running dangerously low on battery, we are finally on the trail. The woods are muddy and barely visible. We caravan through storybook signs and haunted characters that follow us through the forest, jumping and screaming our way out.

We are off the trail and straight onto another house. Blood on the Bayou is a house themed after a cursed swamp with voodoo magicians and slaughterhouse décor. The house is small with tight corners and plenty of actors. Though we were told not to touch the monsters and they would not touch us, the crammed house made that a challenge on both ends, as a bloodied butcher juts a fake severed limb in our faces.

The next house, Trick or Treat, is all tricks and no treat.[4] Admittedly, this was the house I blacked out in. Not due to it being particularly scarier than the rest, but due to the succession of houses we passed through over the span of thirty minutes. The only thing that rings in my memory was the sound of witch laughter and what may have been a head in a cauldron.

Having gotten intel that the Diablo house was flooded and slippery, we headed to the final house of the evening: F.E.A.R. This was by far the weakest in terms of fear factor. The actors in grim reaper garb were silent but quick on their feet. While the swiftness made for some unexpected hiding spots, the lack of sudden noises made it seem far tamer than the rest.

At the end of the night, the rain decided to make its final appearance to send us off and back into the car. Inside a freezing cold Applebee’s nearing midnight, our shivering, wet selves devour platefuls of fried, hot food. It is unclear if the rain won this battle or we did. Somehow it feels like the answer is both.

[1] In case anyone was wondering, a slice of cheese pizza and two breadsticks will run you $17.99. I have no understanding on the Kings Dominion economy.

[2] Shoutout to the merry-go-round operator who made the ride go backwards the entire time as to mess with us.

[3] This is listed a thrill level 3 out of 5 on the website. Even as a non-adrenaline junkie, this rating seems generous.

[4] This journalist thought the Snickers sponsorship of the house would elicit a little nibble of chocolate as a reward. I was wrong.

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