Author: Adam Slocum ’27

Last week, I signed up to write an article about a large koi fish I visited every so often in the pond by the Riparian Garden behind the Forum Hotel. And now it’s Sunday night, and I actually have to write the article, because I refuse to be labeled a “Law Weakling” (colophon members who don’t show up to meetings or write articles, a phrase coined by yours truly).

Anyway—back to the koi.

The koi and I first locked eyes last spring when I stumbled across the Riparian Garden on a de-stress walk after trying to wrap my head around fee simples, contingent remainders, and life estates. This koi was large and bright orange, which made it impossible to miss.

At our first encounter, I quickly stopped pondering why only a select few states still recognize the fee tail and instead pivoted to the massive tail of this koi and a far more pressing question: how did this fish get into a pond that looks like construction wastewater runoff, and how has a hawk not picked it off yet? I assumed that the next time I walked by, it would be gone, just another victim of a local raptor, but no, just like my perpetual fear of Property, this koi remained a constant throughout the spring.

One day, I even saw it evading a massive snapping turtle and terrifying the tadpoles when it swam close to the shore. The pond, unlandscaped and extremely rough around the edges (literally), was oddly serene, showcasing the quieter beauties of spring.

When I returned to school in the fall, the koi was still there. Then, at some point not too far into the semester, it disappeared, and I’ve been perplexed ever since.

To be fair, this wasn’t the first fish to capture my attention at this law school. That honor belongs to Learned Fin, a small goldfish who spent a few weeks in fall 2024 living in the fountain of Spies Garden. I checked in on Learned with my friend Chris de Grandpre ’27, and when Learned disappeared one day, it was sad, but not this sad. Unlike Learned Fin, who had newspaper articles written about him, the koi tucked deep behind the Forum felt like a secret. It lived on the path less traveled, and that made all the difference. I guess fish at this law school, much like the 1Ls who cheat on their exams, don’t last long.

I was genuinely devastated when I could no longer spot the koi. I thought for sure I’d see it again, but I haven’t. Perhaps in the spring it will return.

I sent an email to the Facilities Management team at the Darden School of Business, which manages the Forum Hotel, to see if they knew anything about the koi, but I did not receive a comment. If any readers know anything about this koi, please let The Law Weekly know, as we are offering a handsome reward (a Domino’s pizza).

So that’s the story so far, and it’s only about 520 words. I wasn’t sure what else to say, but as my editor fervently reminded me, The Law Weekly has a strict 800-word minimum. I thought I could squeak by until more information surfaced about the missing koi, but no. This requirement is stricter than your top-choice firm’s GPA cutoff.

Which brings me to the second half of this article. Think of it like a beat switch in your favorite rap song: same song, different vibe.

Related to a koi that swims in water, I too have begun swimming, specifically, in the pool at North Grounds Recreation Center.

If you’re a loyal follower of my work (and if you’re reading this, I know you are), you know I wrote an award-winning article on the North Grounds Football League (“NGFL”) this fall. But with the weather less than ideal, football season is on pause, and I’ve found a new physical activity: swimming.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been swimming almost every day and have enjoyed it thoroughly. I had never swum in a lane pool before, but Brad Berklich ’27, captain of the “Swim Team,” encouraged me to join him and Bill “William” Lee ’27 for their workouts.

The strokes vary, but I usually stick to breaststroke or backstroke, and no, not because they’re the only ones I know (I also know the doggy paddle), but because I find them the least physically demanding. As Thomas Jefferson famously believed, staying active is important in its own right (See generally my earlier article on NGFL), but it certainly helps when you can gossip with friends in a nearby hot tub after.

Well, that’s over 900 words (look at me being an overachiever), and far more than I initially planned to say. And if I do say so myself, not half bad. Maybe the powers that be will finally give me the above-the-fold front page spot that I deserve (doubtful). But if I can write a lot about nonsense, then maybe my mom was right, and I will be a good lawyer one day. Thanks for reading. And if the missing koi is somehow reading this, in the words of Dylan Thomas: “Do not go gentle into that good night. RAGE, RAGE against the dying of the light.”

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