Just Say No–To Sending a Message in the UVA Law GroupMe

Many years ago, during a more “enlightened” time in our country’s history, Nancy Reagan asked the youth of America to “Just Say No.” The First Lady in the 1980s was asking the youth to say no to drugs, but today I ask the youth to “Just Say No” to sending a message in the UVA Law GroupMe—or at least think twice, maybe even thrice, about that message.  

Like Nancy Regan’s ill-fated campaign to reduce drug consumption in America, this may be reductive. But I nevertheless find this to be a good rule of thumb and will use this column as a PSA for this campaign. Just say no to sending a message in the UVA Law GroupMe.  

Nothing good can come from it. Unless you’re a masochist who enjoys the pain of social stigma and ostracization, there is very little to gain from sending a message into the void of the UVA Law GroupMe.  

While I do think the rule of thumb is not to send a message in this group chat, I’ll run through a list of questions one should ask themself before bravely and foolishly deciding to click send in a group chat with nearly 900 people. One may call it the “To send or not to send” test. You can even call it a standard, if you so choose, since we law students love bright-line rules and straightforward legal standards.  

First, you must ask, "Is anything I am sending provocative, mildly offensive, or somewhat edgy?” If so, just say no to sending a message in the UVA Law GroupMe. The UVA Law GroupMe is not a Young Republicans group chat.1 While JD Vance may not think it is a problem and dismiss the outrage as “pearl clutching,” your classmates will likely disagree.2 Your classmates are your future professional references and colleagues in this tight-knit industry. That joke or snippy reply you think would do numbers in the chat is best left in your own head, or if you thought it would make great stand-up material, write it down in a joke book. Just say no to sending it.  

Second, is this a message you think the office of private practice, judicial clerkships, or public service would suggest you send? Imagine going in to meet with your advisor and asking, “Should I send this message in the UVA Law GroupMe?” Would they say yes or look dumbfounded? Imagine your message in a presentation to future 1Ls. If you think your message would cause any consternation from your advisors or would trigger laughter or gasps from a group of future 1Ls in Caplin Auditorium, just say no to sending it.  

Third: “Is my message related to a topic of public concern, and would my unsolicited statement or opinion about it be valuable to the law school community?” This is a high burden to clear. The topic of your message must be about something objectively important. Selling your computer is not important, and you may be a bot if you think it is. An example of an important topic would be a lost cat. (We are so happy that Alma was found). Another example is notifying the law school community that food has been left on the free food table. But we don’t need to hear your opinion about the quality of Chipotle in the Barracks Road Shopping Center. (But they do need to be a little more generous with the chicken). Under this third prong, my unsolicited parenthetical would not be valuable to the law school community. If your message is related to a trivial matter, and your opinion on that matter, or any other matter, regardless of its importance, would contribute little to nothing to the law school community, just say no to sending it.  

Fourth and most importantly, “Will the Virginia Law Weekly write about my message in the UVA Law GroupMe?” This is the lowest burden to clear. Ask yourself earnestly, will the venerable editors and contributors of the Law Weekly look down on my message? Next, ask, “Will they be so taken aback by this message that they will dedicate valuable space in their weekly paper to call me out?” While the inner workings of the Virginia Law Weekly are a closely kept secret, we hear and see all. So, if you answered yes to both, just say no to sending the message.  

Fifth, does my message or anything else related to my correspondence, such as your GroupMe name or identity, in any way insult, denigrate, or constitute an ad hominem attack against a fellow law school classmate or their identity?  If you have even the slightest inkling that your message could be construed by some rogue public meaning originalist scholar in a law review article as attacking a fellow classmate, just say no to sending the message.  

Sixth, “Does my message pass the Hand Formula (of GroupMe)?” Is the burden of not sending that message higher than the probability of offense caused by that message multiplied by the social stigma suffered from sending that message? While no one actually uses this sixth question in practice, you can use it if you want to get an A in Torts.  

So, you now have your test. How the lower courts may interpret it is my best guess, and we may need further refinement of this test at a later date, once the 5th and 9th Circuits warp it to its logical breaking point.