Congratulations to Corey Stott ‘12 and Tiffany Lane on their engagement.

Congratulations to Sarah Chase Levinson ‘12 and Alex Blanchard ’11 on their engagement.

Thumbs down to the loud and obnoxious University-wide test of the U.Va. emergency notification system. ANG suggests that future emergency tests be administered less intrusively – by repeatedly hitting students in the head with tack hammers.

Thumbs up to the Year of the Dragon, or, as it will be remembered, the year 1Ls will find out they don’t have jobs.

Thumbs down to the alarming email from the Registrar notifying 3Ls that they must notify the Registrar within three days if they intend to graduate. ANG will make it simple for the Registrar and save them some time: EVERYONE SAYS YES.

Thumbs up to the commercial success of Mission Impossible 4, a fast-paced thriller that is reportedly loosely based on the botched diploma-paper heist recently carried out by one of the Law School’s own students and at least one Asian gymnast dwarf.

Thumbs down to the tragic end of the winter break. As usual, ANG used this time to reflect on how much ANG learned in the past semester and to sort and store all the animal fats hoarded in ANG’s basement refrigerator.

Thumbs down to an unnecessarily boring State of the Union. ANG has higher hopes for President Tata’s soon-to-be-instituted fireside chats on the state of the frozen yogurt machine.

Thumbs down to the fact that the Jan. 27 admin law panel and networking event is scheduled at the same time as Prof. Duffy’s class in admin law. Fortunately, ANG’s time machine constructed of stolen frozen yogurt dispenser parts is nearly complete.

J. Harrison: I always hope that the world will come to an end before exam period. So far, I have been disappointed.

A. Coughlin: I was really glad when my body scanner went off at the airport. I personally love the opportunity to get frisked.

K. Kordona: I may be a crazy, freaky, fly-by-night freak.

S. Prakash: Our job is to make easy questions difficult.

Student: That’s clearly a tough question...
D. Laycock: That’s why I’m asking you instead of trying to answer it myself.

K. Abraham: Most insurers fly-swat applications. Why? Because they’re shitty.

C. Sprigman: The Internet is a giant porn machine, and a giant copy machine.

G. Mitchell [discussing the dearth of Law Weekly professor quotes]: ‘Dean Mahoney sucks’ – put that in there. But you have to put it in the context of ‘the Law Weekly is a rag.’