Congratulations to our Web Editor, Alex Antonova ‘14, for her recent engagement to Ian Downie.
Thumbs up to Professor Barzun being a member of one of Town & Country Magazine’s “10 Most Powerful Families.” Even if he is the black sheep not mentioned, he’s probably still worth a solid recommendation.
Thumbs down to the Boston Marathon terrorist attacks. It is too soon for a witty comment, but it will never be too late for ANG to offer condolences.
Thumbs down to Google for not providing ANG with a Google Glass. ANG desperately wanted to take ANG’s finals while wandering the hall dressed as a hipster and rambling about subject matter jurisdiction. Now ANG will just have to do that BETWEEN finals.
Thumbs down to Kobe Bryant’s achilles tendon for failing him so miserably. ANG can sympathize, as ANG’s brain seems to work fine for the entire semester only to give out right before finals start.
Thumbs down to Psy’s new song, “Gentlemen.” ANG suspects it is on track to become the worst sequel of all time, after Star Wars VII: The Avengers and Harrison Ford and Luke vs. Thanos. Or Season 11 of Friends.
Thumbs down to professors trying to cram months worth of lectures into the final weeks of the semester. ANG was already trying to do that with the semester’s worth of readings.
Thumbs down to the ricin packages mailed to the president. How is anyone going to take print media seriously if even touching your mail can kill you?
Thumbs up to the SBA picnic’s vegetarian option. This is exactly what ANG hoped for when ANG voted for the Southern Barbecue enthusiast, Brian Park, for SBA President.
A. Woolhandler: [on hearing of cold called students’ absences] Some people on my list have absented themselves! Don’t they fear me?!
J. Mahoney: Imagine you are on the Supreme Court. Or a district court or appellate court. Traffic court?! I don’t want to set your sights too high....
J. Duffy: Maybe you can get from New York to Charlottesville in five hours if you drive like a bat out of H-E double hockey sticks.
F. Hitz: We’re having our own Libel Show right here!
K. Kordana: Proles need money! Proles tend not to have savings! That’s just the way of the Prole… or so they tell me.
R. Hynes: Okay, now suppose McGillicuddy had used his credit card to buy some lingerie and it just fell apart the first time he– no, wait. Better make that a bike. I don’t want to get in Law Weekly for this.
A. Johnson: [talking about Prof. Collins winning all university teaching award] I never won that, it’s just an award. Even though I teach the hardest first year course. Not effectively… and lock people out, but never mind.
T. Nachbar: [talking about protected intimacies of relationships] “What about scrabble? Get two English majors and it’s an important part of the intimate relationship. If you think this is a hypothetical, it clearly because you’re not married.
T. Nachbar: So without answering your question, because that’s not what I’m really here to do…
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