Halloween Costumes That Scream “Law Student”

With the start of October coming faster than Mother Nature can catch up with, and Hallowqueen being a week earlier than expected, you may be panicking trying to come up with a costume that is both easy and shows off your sophisticated law-school humor. Fear not, gentle reader, we here at the Law Weekly share in your desperate need to be perceived as witty. Thus, here is a list of costumes for your consideration for this upcoming Halloween.

 

The “Broken Shaft” from Hadley v. Baxendale

If Contracts teaches you anything, it's that you won’t get what you don’t expect. If you can’t reasonably expect the costs of a “broken shaft” on the rest of an enterprise, unfortunately, you won’t get compensated. Get yourself drunk enough at Halloqueen, and I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

 

Frankie the Drug-Sniffing Dog from Florida v. Jardines

There’s nothing like a limit on investigatory tactics. But at the same time, who can resist police power when it comes in the form of a cute, cuddly K-9?

 

Former President Jim Ryan

It may be too soon to joke about this, but at least the costume would be easy. Just wear normal clothes and look sad.

 

Fresh Chipotle on the Free Food Table

This could be a fun one if done *tastefully*. Obviously, you have to carry around free burritos to hand out.

 

The New California Chicken Panini in the Cafeteria

I’m using this opportunity to commend the powers that be for this addition to the lunch options.

 

The Ghost of the Constitution

If you want to be timely and seriously scary, this is a fun spin on your classic, easy sheet ghost. Just write some Articles and Amendments on a white sheet, and you’re good to go.

 

Anti-Performative Male

Replace those matcha lattes with black Folgers. Tote bags with tactical backpacks. Always ask the question, “What in the world is a Labubu?”

 

The Reasonable Person™

Show up in a cardigan, carry a clipboard, and start every sentence with, “Well, objectively speaking . . . .” Bonus points if you give unsolicited takes on the foreseeability of tripping hazards and invite everyone to your negligence TED Talk.

 

Bunnie the GroupMe Tutor

Grab a Judy Hopps costume, print out some tutoring pamphlets, and approach every law student you see. Take what you learned from those networking events and insert yourself into every conversation until someone kicks you out. Bonus points if the people you’re talking to are on SBA.

 

Bonus: Group Costume, Dudley, Stephens, and Cabin Boy Richard Parker

Yo-ho! A few tattered rags, some sun-bleached pants, fake blood, and a disturbing look of . . . hunger . . . in your eyes, and you can be the shipwrecked crew of Mignonette. Dudley and Stephens ate Cabin Boy Richard Parker, and were found guilty in Regina v. Dudley & Stephens. Turns out the necessity doctrine is more about fending-off attackers instead of consuming your fellow man to stay alive. Who knew. Now, let’s all draw straws to see who has to be Parker . . . .

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