Hot Bench: Micah Erfan ’28
Interviewed by Benvin Lozada ’28 — cyf6em@virginia.edu
I hope you’ve been enjoying your first few weeks at the Law School! Are you planning on libbing out or locking in for 1L Fall?
I don't even know what that question means, but I'll say both? Yeah, that's enough. I'm doing both. I'm always libbing out. This semester, I'm also locking in.
If you couldn’t do anything law-related, what would you do with the rest of your life and why would it be curling?
Actually, I'm not even gonna do law. I'm at law school just to be exposed to more people that are well suited for the curling profession. I knew that a lot of people come to UVA for that purpose. I saw it on Reddit, so that's why I'm doing it.
How would you have voted in the Election of 1912?
So definitely not Woodrow Wilson . . . I think Taft was kind of a loser, but I'm not sure. Eugene Debs, very woke, maybe a little bit too woke for me. I think I'm going with Theodore Roosevelt. Sorry, Cuba, I apologize.
If Donald Trump was at UVA Law, what section would he be in?
I'm thinking B. I don't know if it's B. I feel like Trump would be in B. Is it B? Sorry, if you're a B, guys, but I think Trump would be in your section.
What is the wisest advice you’ve ever heard from an internet troll?
There's that meme which is like “I ain't reading all that, so I'm sorry that happened [to you] or I'm happy for you.” And people have used that on me, and I really took that as profound wisdom, which is to be brief, you know? And I try to live by that.
What’s the first bar you’ll visit after being elected SBA President?
Um, okay, so this would require me to have knowledge of bars, okay, which I don't, but I think there's a bar named The Virginian. I'm not even frankly sure, okay, but if that does exist, that's where I'd go, because it's the only bar that I'm even loosely aware of.
Has your fame helped you with dating or are you constantly afraid of being honeytrapped?
I think that, insofar as I have a big public profile, it is helpful to my dating life for the sole reason that a lot of people already know my personality, and so, if you're willing to date me knowing my personality already, we're probably much more likely to be successful in a relationship than somebody who doesn't know me.
How did your LSAT score end up on your LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter, and website?
I remember whenever I got it, I was totally shocked and so I wanted to post it. I've been openly studying for the LSAT everywhere. So, whenever you take [your] biggest W, you got to show your W's.
How late at night do you stay up dreaming about the hypos you’re going to ask in class?
No, they just come to me. It's a really unique talent, and none of them have any bearing on my real life.
The difference between streaking and indecent exposure is speed. Yes or no?
Yes.
Do you think that “the reasonable person” would enjoy your Substack?
I think that's actually part of the definition of what it means to be a reasonable person.
Have you or Margaret Thatcher contributed more to trans-Atlantic Feminism?
I guess it's like she was a woman who was powerful. I guess the argument for Margaret Thatcher is that she made feminism in the UK a thing that also the conservatives have . . . there are these conservative girl bosses in the UK [like] Theresa May. Would they have ever come about if it weren't for Margaret Thatcher? No, so I'd say insofar as feminism is a project which is solely focused on women having more representation in areas of leadership, surely she has contributed. With that being said, I don't like Margaret Thatcher. I think she's a terrible person.
What U.S. state would you trade for repealing the 27th Amendment?
I don't want to get rid of this. So really, the question here is, what state would I just eliminate? As a Texan, as a human being, and as an American, I think that the number one threat to my health and safety [and] the safety of future generations is Florida . . . . We can save Disney World. I think it's its own [thing].
Thanks so much! And as a last question: how does it feel knowing this is the most important interview you will ever do?
It's really an honor, you know, it's nerve wracking. My heart's currently palpitating. I'm sweating a little bit. I know if I could just make it to the end of this and stay together, you know, maybe my career will be okay.