Kim Kardashian Fails the Bar
Tales abound of West Coast law firms and their liberal office dress codes. Law is a profession where tradition is a way of life, and the jeans-and-hoodie-clad West Coast attorney has undeniable allure to those of us here in the snowy and stuffy East. But our Pacific brethren have gone where no lawyer has gone before with the newly invented Thong Suit. We at Law Weekly caught wind of this trend from Kim Kardashian’s new venture into acting, the legal drama All’s Fair, which (as we understand it) is an unflinching look at the secret lives of Los Angeles attorneys and their penchant for exposing the upper third of their ample buttocks while taking depositions. But Kim Kardashian is not one to settle for perpetuating strange and salacious California fashions by pretending to be a lawyer on TV—nay, Kim wants to be a real lawyer.
Since 2018, Kim Kardashian has been doggedly following in the footsteps of her father, Robert Kardashian, who is best known for defending O. J. Simpson as part of O. J.’s defense attorney “Dream Team.” Unlike her father, Kim Kardashian pursued her legal education by means of an apprenticeship program, which, despite her tendency to say that she went to law school, is not law school. Kardashian finished her legal studies this May.
Last week, news broke that Kardashian had failed the California bar. The laughter of thousands of law students was heard around the world.
Ever sympathetic to the poor, downtrodden underdogs of the world, I felt sorry for Kim. All her work—six years of apprenticeship, four tries at the requisite “baby bar” for self-studying California law students, countless hours of bar prep—and somehow, her failing the bar exam was a foregone conclusion for us law students in our ivory tower. As if learning the law isn’t hard. As if we all have the kind of fortitude Kim has displayed.
After I departed from the pity party I’d thrown for Kim in my head, I realized that perhaps I’d gone too far in my commitment to being a contrarian. After all, one must ask why Kim wants to be a lawyer in the first place. Her answer to that question is less than satisfactory upon examination.
Photo Credit: All’s Fair
Kardashian has stated that she wants to be a trial lawyer, and that her desire to work for criminal justice reform was a driving force behind her choice. In an interview for Vogue, she said that she “wanted to be able to fight for people who have paid their dues to society.”
Of course, Kim is rich and famous and all that, and she could probably accomplish a lot more with that money and fame than she could in a courtroom. But if Kim wants to fight the good fight, who am I to look a gift Kardashian in the mouth? The more justice-minded lawyers out there, the better.
Unfortunately, no law student or journalist is good at letting things go. And it so happens that Kim Kardashian, during her apprenticeship, was sued by seven former employees that worked on her mansion grounds, alleging that Kardashian had withheld their wages and allowed a minor to work for her in violation of child labor laws. The suit was settled last year. Allegations remain allegations, yet one must question Kardashian’s commitment to fighting for the people when she is accused of exploiting them. Just a few years ago, Kardashian was under federal investigation for importing a smuggled Roman statue, and the year after that, she was fined by the Securities and Exchange Commission for advertising the cryptocurrency EthereumMax (no relation to Ethereum) as part of an alleged “pump and dump” scheme. How many run-ins with the law can a person have before one starts to question their commitment to the law?
In any case, Kim Kardashian is not stopping for anyone (or any lawsuit). After learning that she hadn’t passed the bar, she stated that “this dream means too much to walk away from,” and that she plans to keep trying until she succeeds. Character and fitness inquiries are a bridge to be crossed when she gets there, it seems.
Doubts about her character and fitness aside, perhaps we could learn something from Kim K. Exams are nearly here and the future is coming at us like a bullet train. There’s nobody better at turning a bad grade or rough interview into a harbinger of career-long failure than a neurotic law student. Kim, however, keeps going, ever the spandex-garbed perpetual motion machine. Wealthy beyond imagination, she could quit at any moment. But she doesn’t, and she won’t. So the next time we’re on the verge of giving up, maybe it’s time to ask—WWKD? She would pull herself up by thongstraps, hit the books, and stroll into that next interview, whale tail proudly on display.
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Staff Editor — Katie Boatright ’28
vbm3vs@virginia.edu