Darden Claims 2025 NGSL Softball Championship
Photo Credit: Author
Well, it's one of your resident law weekly softball reporters, again. First, I’ll offer an obligatory disclosure for those quick to question our journalistic ethics. I, Sam Koeppel, on my honor, am a member of the Section J Juris Dingerz, the 1L champions. My bias shall should not seep into my reporting, but I can only promise so much. I am a product of my environment, and that environment is unparalleled greatness from the Juris Dingerz. After a Saturday of outlining, reading, and practice exams lost to softball, the Juris Dingerz embarked back to the field, this time to claim a greater title, as NGSL’s premier softball team.
I can now confidently report to the people that we are not NGSL’s premier softball team. It was a valiant effort, but our tournament exit was probably for the best. I know my colleagues were anxious to return to the library and their civil procedure outlines.
So now, we must return to the matter at hand. On Saturday, November 15, 2025, sixteen teams entered the “Big Dance”—March Madness stole that from NGSL—and only eight remained on Sunday.
A recap of the Saturday slate of games:
The Juris Dingerz suffered a 13–4 loss at the hands of Slug Slug Goose in the first round, failing to complete the 16 seed upset. Buddy Palmer ’26 and Braedon Sims ’26 slugged home runs to send the Juris Dingerz packing and the remaining 1Ls back to studying. Ethan Benson ’28 clubbed four singles, but the rest of the Juris Dingerz’s bats were held at bay.
I unfortunately must report that both teams fielded by Darden advanced to the quarterfinals. Darden the Interruption defeated OWLS, and the APALSTARS suffered a loss at the hands of the Darden Swingers (name can be interpreted in different ways). The Law School did not go down without a fight, with Will Klink ’26 slugging three home runs to keep OWLS in the game. However, Darden’s bats could not be silenced—due to a bat this reporter can only suspect is corked—scoring nineteen runs, via multiple towering home run shots onto the hill behind Park 6. I wish I could say Darden the Interruption won with grace, but the future McKinsey consultants gloated in their defeat of the Older, Wiser Law Students.
At Park 6, A League of Their Own’s season came to an end at the hands of Pangea, the super team, not the supercontinent. Pangea defeated A League of Their Own, 17–5. Pangea’s offense was operating on all cylinders, while A League of Their Own’s offense came from the bat of Owen O’Connor ’28. On Park 1, ACAB advanced to the quarterfinals, beating Felony Hit and Run, who did not do much hitting or running. The Rio Grande Slams proved that not everything is bigger and better in Texas, losing to Demurrer on Park 1. In a game requiring extra innings, Id. defeated the JAG team, who could not handle the truth of Id.’s offense. Id. at 2:00 p.m. on Copeley (That was a citation joke, sorry). The Hebrew Nationals defeated SALSA, 14–8. Sonia Singh ’28 belted a laser over the head of the right fielder to drive in two runs for SALSA. But William Seidman ’26 and Jason Scheuer ’27 knocked in inside-the-park home runs for the Nats, who moved to the quarterfinals on Sunday. Id. at 12:00 p.m. on Park 6. (Last one, I promise).
At the beginning of Sunday, eight teams lived on to play another day of softball. In the 12:00 p.m. slot, Darden the Interruption took on Demurrer at Park 1. Darden the Interruption quickly took the lead and never looked back. At the end of the hour, Darden ran the score up to 18–6, sending Demurrer home for failure to state a claim eligible for relief under Rule 12(b)(6). Darden the Interruption unfortunately continued their run, in dominating fashion, smacking multiple home runs and exhibiting elite defense around the field. On Park 6, the Hebrew Nationals and Id. traded blows for six innings. But when the dust settled, the Hebrew Nationals stood victorious, defeating Id., 10–5, to advance to the semifinals and face Darden the Interruption’s offensive freight train. In the 1:00 p.m. slot, Slug Slug Goose defeated ACAB, prolonging their undefeated season. On Park 6, the Darden Swingers took on Pangea. In an offensive showdown, in which both teams switched leads at various times, the Darden Swingers defeated Pangea, 21–17. This time, Pangea was not separated by continental drift, but by future consultants seeking to break apart the supercontinent to lower overhead costs.
The Law School was represented by two teams in the semifinals, Slug Slug Goose and the Hebrew Nationals, both hoping to send Darden’s two teams back home to make slide decks and read case studies. But at 2:00 p.m. on Park 6, the Hebrew Nationals fell victim to Darden the Interruption’s offensive might. The final score stood at a lopsided 27–5. The Hebrew Nationals’ offense was led by Elias Levy ’28 and Thomas Wolfson ’27, but nothing could stop Darden the Interruption’s tear to the championship game. Multiple solo home runs and a towering grand slam spelled the end for the Hebrew Nationals’ tournament run. At 3:30 p.m., Slug Slug Goose attempted to defend the Law School’s honor and national reputation as the preeminent postgraduate institution for softball. Slug Slug Goose did so in resounding fashion, crushing the Darden Swingers 20–5.
Slug Slug Goose’s victory in the semifinals set up a heavyweight matchup, not seen since Ali v. Frazier. With the honor of the Law School at stake, Slug Slug Goose and Darden the Interruption met on the softball field as the two remaining undefeated teams in the North Grounds Softball League and the two pre-tournament favorites (at least, according to Vegas). In a thrilling final under the lights, Slug Slug Goose fell to Darden the Interruption, 21–20. Despite an offensive explosion, Slug Slug Goose could not silence the bats of Darden the Interruption, which mowed down the competition throughout the two-day tournament.
We congratulate Slug Slug Goose and all thirteen other Law School teams that competed in the tournament this weekend. While Darden may claim victory this season, let us all take solace in the fact that we are UVA’s best-ranked program. Maybe we should hire some consultants to tell us what to do better next season. But they’ll probably just suggest we downsize for efficiency and lay off half our players.
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Staff Editor — Sam Koeppel ’28
bjp4zx@virginia.edu