Three Theses from a [redacted] [redacted] Tryout Victim

[Editor’s note (EN): The original following piece was found nailed to the Weekly’s door in something of a Lutheran statement. The Weekly is inclined to publish pieces from all reasonable authors (anything to save us the work of writing articles ourselves), but the material was found utterly scandalous by the [redacted] [Censor’s note (CN): insert “good friends” or “fearless leader” here].]

[CN: Given the absolute confidentiality required for the subject matter, it has been redacted accordingly. While some allege that allowing publication of information about the [redacted] [redacted] tryout after it is over would not cause severe educational disruption and is therefore protected free speech per Tinker, the threat posed by students commiserating about an extracurricular with each other is simply too great.]

The recently completed [redacted] [redacted] tryout makes one wonder about the value of joining the [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] in the first place. While the people are nice enough, the grammatical quality of the materials, the supreme self-seriousness with which it is taken, and the lack of situational awareness all raise significant concerns.

The [redacted] is often cited as being great experience for honing one’s legal writing skills and attention to detail. After all, given the complete dearth of similar opportunities to read, write, and edit in the law school, the [redacted] seems to contribute a great service by providing this learning opportunity [CN: This is conceded—none of the other [redacted] or classes are as valuable as the [redacted].] That said, one must assess the value of this education by its results—the materials written by the [redacted] instructing students in the [redacted] [redacted] tryout seem to be the centerpiece of the original work written by the [redacted]. Therefore, one would expect these documents to be among the best written in the school.

Yet in the key documents, references are found to both the “2025” and “2026” [redacted] [redacted] tryouts. While numbers may not be the specialty of law students, one would expect such a typographical error to have been caught in the [redacted]’s rigorous editing and checking processes. Additionally, the communications about the [redacted] [redacted] tryout are full of different fonts and sizes, even within the same paragraphs and sentences. If these are the results of the premier opportunity to write and edit professionally, perhaps questions about its effectiveness are in order. [CN: Please disregard the insolence of the author. The [redacted] has been and will always be the law school’s oldest and most august [redacted], so the opinions of a disgruntled 1L (presumably) don’t matter in comparison.]

The [redacted] is also cited as being great experience on a resume, but the fact that they are behind the recruiting curve by several months renders this moot. [CN: The [redacted] is ultimately better and more important than Big Law firms, so the [redacted] can’t be held responsible for the mistakes of its lessers.]

Even if one accepts the dubiously claimed benefits, the process evinces a self-seriousness and commitment to arbitrary competition unbecoming of UVA’s culture of collegiality. Most professors grade their students’ abilities based on a four-hour exam using a five to ten-page instruction packet. The [redacted], on the other hand, requires up to a possible fifty-nine hours of work (unless a student was foolish enough to not build their schedule in a way to avoid Friday afternoon and Monday morning classes, in which case it is less) and 400-500 pages of instructional and reading material to be consumed in this time. To insist on such an over-the-top assessment (because a mere four hours, if even that is needed, would be insufficient), while assuring the students that sleep and academics should come first, is naïve at best and disingenuous at worst. [CN: The [redacted] is confident that professors will learn the insufficiency of their methods and adopt the superior standards of the [redacted] in good time. The [redacted] is also skeptical of 1L author since if they dislike simultaneously recruiting at dozens of firms, reading hundreds of pages for class, allegedly maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and still spending the majority of their weekend and surrounding days on the more important [redacted] [redacted] tryout, then the lazy 1L will clearly never cut it at the [redacted].]

Within the tomes provided, students are reminded of the Honor Code and Pledge at least 58 times, which also seems like a greater number than is seen in final exams. It brings to mind a line from The Report, “If it works, why do you need to do it 183 times?” The Honor Code is one of the law school’s highlights, and the genuine trust it shows in students (or showed, given the adoption of Exam4) is undoubtedly one of the foundations for UVA having a collegial rather than cutthroat culture. That said, part of trust requires relying on students to know and do the right thing. The Code is to be both “an injunction and an aspiration,” but somewhere along the way, the [redacted] [redacted] tryout forgot about the “aspiration” in their use of it solely as a cudgel. If the [redacted] really valued the Honor Code and trusted their fellow students as it prescribes, one mention would be sufficient instead of including it as a heavy-handed threat at the end of each of the hundreds of instructions. At the end of the day, this is an extracurricular and should be treated as such, instead of as an opportunity to subjectively pit students against each other and arrogantly deprive them of much-needed time for classes, recruitment, and sleep. [CN: The lazy 1L barely has a week of Con Law under their belt, so their ability to interpret the Honor Committee Constitution is not to be trusted.]

What would be lost if the redacted] [redacted] tryout were abbreviated to two hours of editing distributed at the end of the last class on Friday and due Sunday evening? If exams only need a maximum of four hours, then surely two is more than enough for an extracurricular. We are all UVA law students at the end of the day, so who is the [redacted] afraid will be accidentally offered to join their exclusive [redacted] (though given the administration of the [redacted] [redacted] tryout, it seems less and less likely for such offers to be accepted)?